Clear standards for dating and relating will guard you against compromise and making wrong choices out of sudden emotion rather than a God-directed will. These guidelines for your dating friendships will keep God as your focus rather than allowing the guy to become the focus (idol). Clear standards coupled with accountability to a sister in Christ will help you walk in the convictions you establish. To guard you against haphazard meetings or just "WFs" (weird feelings) in your heart, you need standards for which you will be accountable.
...The issue of standards is most relevant, but may seem simplistic. We acknowledge that some women find it difficult to raise their standsards and change their patterns because they are still entangled in the past. Unresolved conflicts with a father, a brother, or an ex-boyfriend may over shadow and control the attraction to Bozos. In this case we suggest a possible date fast, a period of time during which you refrain from accepting another date until you can sort out some of the unresolved conflicts from the past....During the "date fast," you can find time to search for new ways of relating and dating biblically.
During the "date fast," you can find time to search for new ways of relating and dating biblically.
I am an advocate of focusing on bettering yourself rather than searching for a guy. This was not always my mindset. Everyone has baggage...at 27, you'd be hardpressed to find someone who doesn't...but how you carry it is key. You can constantly lug around several huge bags that surround you and prevent anyone from getting close to you. You can hide them away, just to have them suddenly appear and trip you. You can carefully and methodically go through everything, get rid of that which you don't need and stow the rest in storage. I don't know about you, but I'd say option 3 seems like the smart choice. It takes work though. It takes alot of self-inflection and time with God. Having someone else in your life before you've properly dealt with your baggage will almost alway end up poorly.
Ever heard the expression, good things come to those who wait? I fully believe in that. When you take the time to get to know yourself, and strive to be the best version of yourself, you will inevitably attract some quality people.
I wasn't looking for anyone when I met my current boyfriend. I had been single for about 6 months. My previous relationship had ended because of a difference in our convictions. It was an amicable split, but I knew I needed to do some damage control in my own life before I even considered allowing someone else in.
Taking that time to work with God, on the issues I was carrying in my heart, allowed me to be ready when I met my boyfriend. I'm still not perfect. I still have issues. But I'm in a place where there's room for him and the things of my past won't hinder our relationship. Had we tried to be together before I had worked on myself, I can't say that we'd still be together.
God knows you inside out. He knows where you struggle. He can help you deal with these things. Take the time to clean out your heart with His help.
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