LIWD :: day 36 :: Spiritual Pain

Passion makes it difficult to see that God also set physical limits to protect you spiritually.  Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) very clearly says that "marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."  God judges the sin of immorality.  It feels awful to be separated from your Lord by the guilt of sin.

Actions speak louder than words, and this is especially true regarding premarital sex.  It is difficult to share Christ with one who knows your reputation.  Your actions can also cause weaker brothers and sisters to stumble.  One night of passion can totally destroy a reputation you have built over a lifetime.  "The spiritual side of sex is often overlooked.  Even many Christians are not aware of the profoundly spirtual nature of their sex lives.  A person will feel acute spiritual pain and separation from God when engaging in sex outside of marriage, but may not even realize how spiritually beneficial and unifying sex is within marriage."

God does not intend to deny you pleasure.  He protects you so you might enjoy physical health, emotional stability, relational intimacy, and spiritual blessings.

It feels awful to be separated from your Lord by the guilt of sin.

We all have people that look up to us.  We all have someone who admires us...even when we do not deserve it...even when their admiration is misguided.  It is our responsibility as Christ followers to set the best example we are capable of.

I want to be worthy of admiration.  Not godly amiration, but inspiring admiration.  I want to invoke the love of Christ in others.  I want to shine Gods light.  I don't want people to look at me, at the way I live my life, and say, 'she says she's a christian, but look at what she's doing.'.  I don't want to be all talk.  I want to walk the walk.  I want to live the way God desires me to. 

There's a quote that has always struck a chord with me.  I'm not sure who it's by...it's on the intro to What if I Stumble on the dc Talk album Free at Last. 

"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is christians...who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, and then walk out the door and get on with a greater lifestyle.  That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

  I don't want to be that kind of christian.  I strongly believe there is an immense different between a believer in Christ, a follower of Christ and a leader for Christ.  I believe they are levels maturity in christianity.  I'm a follower in my walk right now, and I am striving to be a leader.

I want to inspire others to live their lives in Christ...to not only believe in Him and accept Him into their hearts, but to truly live their lives for Him.  To do that, I have to practice what I preach.  I have to lead by example.  So I will speak out of my abstinence.  I will speak out of why I'm abstinence.  And I won't just be all talk.

LIWD :: day 35 :: Don't Sin Against Yourself

Have you ever been dieting but treated yourself to a huge piece of rich chocolate cake with fudge icing to celebrate some special occasion?  Cake is good.  Cake is desirable.  The more cake, the more pleasure.  But cake, in the midst of a strict diet, can really make on sick!  The pleasure of a big, luscious piece of cake depends on the right timing, just as the pleasures of sex do.

God also wants to protect you from the sexually transmitted diseases that could affect not only you, but also your future husband....

God also desires to shield you from an unwanted pregnancy.  Although precautions exist, pregnancy always remains a possibility.  A rushed marriage, adoption, or abortion only complicate the consequences.

God desires to shield you from the negative physical consequences of premarital sex.  He wants to protect you from sinning against your body.  First Corinthians (NIV) says, "Flee from sexual immorality.  All other sins a [woman] commits are outside [her] body, but [she] who sins sexually sins against [her] own body."

"He wants you to be free from an addiction to premarital sex.  Passionate physical exchange is a short-lived high.  As with drugs, you keep wanting more intense highs."

...cake, in the midst of a strict diet, can really make one sick!

Abstinence is hard.  Abstinence is so hard.  But it's doable and I believe it will be worth it.  I believe that denying myself physical pleasures now will only help me to grow closer to God, stronger in my faith. 

I know that my wedding night will be special.  I know that my wedding night will be romantic.  I know that any indescretions I have can cheapen that.  I also know that any and all indescretions I have had, have been forgiven.  I know that when I turned my life over God and asked Him for forgiveness that He granted me just that.  I know that when I asked God to wash me of my sins He replied that He had already done just that when He sent His Son to die on the cross and rise again 3 days later.  I know that because of the great sacrifice Jesus made for me that I am forgiven and that in Gods eyes I am pure again.

I want to remain pure in His sight.  So I will do my best to remain abstinent.  I will do my best to not have any more indescretions.  I will do my best.  But, if I mess up...if I slip...I know that when I come to Him, on my knees, crying out for forgiveness, that He will cleanse me of my sins and make me pure again.

LIWD :: day 21 :: It's Not Too Late

...If you are reading this "after the fact" and are dealing with the guilt of the lost gift, do not be discouraged.  Although it is true that there is only one first time, God is the God of the first-time experience.  Let Him heal your broken heart through forgiveness.  Agree with God that you have sinned and leave the sin before Him.  Then guard yourself from entering into that sin pattern again.  Learn a valuable lesson, but do not continue to beat yourself with condemnation.  Jesus paid for those sins at Calvary.  Do not continue to allow youself or the enemy to defeat you with remembering a sin once you have confessed it to God and those you have offended.  There may be consequences of your sin, but you do not have to live with the guilt of it.

...

Even though you have been freed from the guilt by confession, do not use it as an opportunity to continue in sin or to leave yourself open to temptation.  Continue to choose freedom over sin's mastery.  Lay aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles you and run with endurance the race set before you (see Hebrews 12.1).

Lay aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles you and run with endurance the race set before you.

God intended for sex to be within a marriage.  He intended for us to share that intimacy with one person only.  Yes, there is adultery and polygamy in the bible...but nowhere does it say that these things were in Gods will.  Abstinence is hard.  Especially when you're in a relationship.  But it is in Gods will for you to be this way, and through Him we can do anything!

It is considerably more difficult to abstain when you've already had sex than it is when you don't know what you're missing.  This is what God wants.  Who am I to doubt Him or His will?  Just because it's been done doesn't mean it has to be done again. 

Suppose you stole from someone and they found out and forgave you.  Would you feel blessed by their forgiveness and earn a new respect for them and their belongings?  Or would you continue to steal from them and tell them 'well I've stolen from you before so it's no big deal.'.  I hope you would choose the former.  It's the same way with sex.  God gave us this pleasure to share only in our marital bed.  We are stealing from Him when we betray His word.

I'm not saying abstinence it's easy.  Quite the opposite.  When you put your trust in the Lord, He will give you strength.  You'll be surprised at what you can accomplish with Him on your side.

LIWD :: day 17 :: Your Gift

Since sex is desirable, why not have sex?...

God wants you to be a Lady of Purity because He wants to protect you from the consequences that sex before marriage brings.  These consequences can be physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual....

Have you secretly opened a Christmas gift before Christmas Day and rewrapped it, putting it back under the tree?  How thrilling and exciting it was when you saw the surprise.  But what about the "big day" when the gifts were supposed to be opened for the first time?  Where was the excitement when you opened your gift?  The gift did not seem quite as special because it had already been opened for the first time.  Each woman receives one "first time."  God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage.  God wants you and your gift to this man to be treasured and cherished, not trampled and conquered.  Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV) says, ... "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."  God wants to protect you from losing your virginity.

God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage.

We live in a world full of lust. Sex is everywhere. It's in magazines. It's on tv. It's in movies. And it's socially acceptable. If you are abstinent, you are most likely the odd man out. The topic of abstinence comes up often in conversations with friends and coworkers. They don't understand it.

I am abstinent because I believe it is in Gods will for me to be. I am abstinent because my body is a temple to God. I am abstinent because I value my sexuality. I am abstinent because I think sex is sacred. I am abstinent because I believe all sex outside of marriage is adultery. I am abstinent because I want my wedding night to be special. I am abstinent because I want to 'make love' not -insert profanity here-.  I am abstinent because I am strong enough to be...or at least I am with Gods help. I am abstinent because I want to obey my Lord and Savior.

God has blessed me with a wonderful man who feels the same way I do.  Abstinence within a relationship would be difficult, if not impossible, when both partners aren't committed to it.  It's not a matter of either one of us not wanting to have sex, or to share that intimacy.  We just feel that sex is meant for marriage and we want our relationship to be Christ-centered rather than sex-centered.  Just because we're in agreeance does not mean it's easy.  We struggle.  My boyfriend is attractive.  I love him.  There are times when I waiver.  There are times when he waivers.  Luckily, when I am weak, he is strong...and vice versa.  We both have a strong faith and know we can rely on God to keep us on track.  We strive to have a relationship that honors Him and abstaining is a way of accomplishing just that.