Ten Years Ago Today

Ten years ago today, I was an 18 year old college sophomore.

Ten years ago today, I lived in New Jersey.

Ten years ago today, I had the day off.

Ten years ago today, my mother woke me up in a frenzy and turned on my television.

Ten years ago today, I didn't believe it was real.

Ten years ago today, I thought it was a hoax...or a dream....or something other than the horrific reality.

Ten years ago today, my older brother worked next to the world trade center.

Ten years ago today, my mum was in a panic because she couldn't get a hold of my brother.

Ten years ago today, the phone lines were jammed and it was near impossible to get a hold of anyone.

Ten years ago today, God granted me with a sense of peace - I knew my brother was okay.

Ten years ago today, my brother over-slept and didn't go into work.

Ten years ago today, I picked up my best friend and little sister from high school.

Ten years ago today, all the local businesses were shut down.

Ten years ago today, I cried out to my God.

Ten years ago today, I felt His presence.

Ten years ago today, too many people were affected.

Ten years ago today, too many people were hurt.

Ten years ago today, too many people lost their lives.

Ten years ago today, too many people lost loved ones.

Ten years ago today, this country came together.

Ten years ago today, we vowed to never forget.

Today, that wound is still fresh for so many.

Today, that day is still vivid in my mind.

Today, I know that God is still with us.

Today, we remember.

Struggling

I'm struggling.

I'm struggling financially.  I'm struggling emotionally.  I'm struggling physically.  I'm struggling spiritually.  I'm struggling in my career.  I'm struggling to stay afloat.  I'm struggling to maintain my sanity.  I'm struggling to maintain my optimism.

But I have faith.  I have a God who loves me.  A God who is always with me.  A God who will never leave my side.  A God who will carry me when I can no longer walk...and I'm just about there.

Financially.
I've made a lot of wrong choices in my life.  I've often done what was convenient or what fulfilled my selfish desires of the moment and shrugged off the consequences.  The consequences ALWAYS catch up.  Sometimes the next day, sometimes years later...but there they are.  My financial situation is clear evidence of that.  I am awful with money.  To say I have poor money management skills would be a gross understatement.  I'm working on it, and I'm doing better, but I've gotten myself into such a deep, narrow ditch.  It's going to be a long time and a LOT of hard work before I am back on solid ground financially.

Emotionally.
I'm drained.  As most of you know, I broke up with my boyfriend about 5 months ago.  Or rather, he broke up with me.  I am crushed.  I was so certain about him.  About us.  So now I'm left feeling jilted. I have been having a really hard time with this.  I am SO thankful for the amazing support I have from my friends and family.  I have spent the majority of my quiet time not being so quiet.  I am angry.  I am sad.  I am heart-broken.  I just keep praying for God to take this hurt from me.  It's more than I can bear.  I'm just so tired.  I don't want to cry anymore.  I don't want to care anymore.  It's too much.

Physically.
I am in the worst shape of my life.  Over the last 2 years, I have gained over 30lbs...and I am not carrying it well.  I have started (and quit) p90x 7 times now.  I don't know what my problem is.  I don't know why I can't won't stick with it.  I want to be in shape.  I want to feel better about how I look.  I want to fit into the clothes I own.  I want to feel confident in a bathing suit again.  I know I need to just get off my couch and do it.  I know it's not going to happen overnight.  I really need to find some motivation...and keep it!


Spiritually.
With everything else that's going on, it's just been really difficult for me to keep my eyes on God.  I know that He is the way.  I know that He is the one who saves me.  I know that I am nothing without my faith.  It's just hard.

I don't think I've ever struggled this much in so many areas of my life at the same time.  I feel like I'm at such a low point.  The only place to go from here is up.  Wish me luck and say a prayer for me if you think about it.

LIWD :: day 55 :: The Place of Rest

You don't know what tomorrow holds, but you do know who holds tomorrow.  Say this with the psalmist:

O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; nor do I  involve myself in great matters, or in things too difficult for me.  Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me.  O [substitute your name], hope in the Lord from this time forth and forever (Psalm 131).

The place of rest that the psalmist found was a result of the choice he made.  This quietness of soul did not come naturally to him.  He chose to put his hope in God.  Are you trying to involve yourself in matters that are too great for you?  Can you see into a man's heart?  Can you know the future?  You know Someone who does know men's hearts and the future.  Patiently rest against His chest.  He will bring you the peace you need.... 

By an act of your will you must choose to trust God regardless of what happens.

The opposite of faith is fear.  Lately, I find myself repeating that over and over.  A good friend of mine, is preparing to begin a new chapter in her life.  She's at a crossroads.  She needs to find her place in this world.  She's being pulled in several directions.  These people want her here.  These people want her there.  Her mother wants her to do this.  She wants to do that.

This friend of mine often asks my advice.  My advice rarely changes. 
'Pray about it.'
'But then what?' she inevitably asks. 
'Listen and obey.'
'How do I know it's God talking to me?'

Easy question, hard answer.  Discerning Gods voice can be tricky.  It's something you feel in the depth of your soul.  If you are praying over your career, and suddenly doors seem to fly open in one direction, I would say that is God.  If you are praying over a move to one town over another, and there's no affordable living in one, I would say that is a sign from God. 

When I saw Beth Moore speak last September, she spoke of discerning Gods voice.  You can read my take on her talk here. 

To discern the voice of God you need to take away your biases.  Rather than praying that God brings you this job, pray that He will show you the job He wants you in.  Rather than pray that God will pave the way for you to move to a certain city, pray that He will lead you to where He intends for you to be.  By praying for His will, rather than your own, you are ensuring that you will be going the path He intends you to be on.  This may not be the path you would choose for yourself, but it will be the path that is best for you.  He knows better than you do.  He knows what the future holds for you.  He has plans for you. 

I'll choose to follow my God wherever He leads me, how about you?

LIWD :: day 52 :: What's Your View?

..."I [Naomi] went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. ...the Lord has witnessed against me and the Almighy has afflicted me?" (Ruth 1:21)

Would you be devoted to a God like Naomi's? In Naomi's bitterness, she no longer referred to God as "the Lord" as she had in verses 8 and 9, but with a title that can cause one to feel alienated and insignificant -- "the Almighty." Though Ruth clung to Naomi as a mother she did not accept her mother-in-law's view of God for herself. ["If we think of Him (God) as cold and eacting, we shall find it impossible to love Him, and our lives will be ridden with servile fear."]

Your past experiences, present circumstances, or your parents' devotion or lack therof may cause you to have an incorrect view of God. But nothing and no one can give you a clearer picture of the true God than slipping under His wings and discovering for yourself Who God really is, the refuge for which you long. He desires for you to come again "into the garden" and walk with Him in complet fellowship. This is the fullness of devotion.

...nothing and no one can give you a clearer picture of the true God than slipping uner His wings and discovering for yourself Who God really is...

It's hard to praise God in the face of despair. We don't always understand God's plans. Scratch that...we rarely understand God's plans. We often can't make sense of why things happen. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? It was too soon for my mom/dad/sister/brother/husband/wife/friend/child to leave this earth. Why now?

What we often fail to take into consideration is free will. While it's easy to remember that we are in control of our own actions, we oft forget that so is everyone else. God does not interfere with free will...ours or anyone elses. He might speak to someones heart, and if they are listening and obey, they may follow His divine will, but it is still ultimately their choice.

It is important to remember that while we may not understand, or agree, with everything that is going on in our lives, God is still there. God is always there. God has always been there. God will always be there. He can use the bad in your life for good. So long as you believe in Him, and in His truth, you will reap the greatest reward possible...eternity in heaven.

LIWD :: day 49 :: Spiritual Eye Wash

In order to have "eyes of faith," you may have to use a spiritual eye wash to remove the debris that the enemy has dropped into your eyes. The Lady of Faith will have times when her secure eyes of faith begin to blink into an anxious twitch of insecure, sensual sight.  She can admit her insecurity to her heavenly fiance and He can calm the twitching eyes.  Spending some quality time in the Word is the best "eye wash" for "eyes of faith."

...A Lady of Faith...can only be content in this trying situation if she has her "eyes of faith" properly focused on the ultimate relationship -- with her heavenly Bridegroom.  Datelessness is a common type of debris that irritates the "eyes of faith," but the eye wash treatment -- quality time with Jesus and reading His Word -- is always effective.

...

One young lady faithfully attended her church for years.  Often she needed reminding that "he's just not here yet."  God brought her Boaz from across the country to where she was in Florida....  Many tears of faith had washed away the debris that often caused her to doubt if whe would ever get married.

Spending some qualtiy time in the Word is the best "eye wash" for "eyes of faith."

No one is insusceptible to sin.  We are all human.  We are all flawed.  We all have out achilles heels.  We are not perfect.  We have weaknesses.  We can only do our best. 

For me, doing my best means living my life in a way that would put a smile on Gods face.  I often...very often...fall short.  But when that happens, my Savior picks me back up, dusts me off, and I try again.  He gives me a clean slate every time I fail. 

His unrelenting love and forgiveness pushes me to try harder each time.  I'm still learning how to live for Him.  I'm going to make mistakes along the way.  With my bible in hand, and my Lord in my heart, I will focus my life on Him.  When I feel myself starting to waiver, going in a direction that is not following His directions for me, I need to stop.  I need to take a time out and speak to my God.  Ask Him to redirect my heart, to align my will with His, to set my focus on His horizon. 

I am happier when I know I am walking in Gods light.  I am more fulfilled when I am following His plan for my life.  I want to retain this happiness and fulfillment, so I will keep my eyes on Him and when I fall, because I know I will, I will turn to Him to guide back to His path.

LIWD :: day 42 :: No End to the Wait

Take courage, single friend.  You are not alone in your wait; neither are you alone in the feelings and struggles you encounter.  many godly women have waited and won.  Many women have lost hope and compromised.  Wait patiently and win triumphantly the future your Father has planned for you.  It will always be designed with you in mind and is worth being patient to discover.

Ruth was a wonderful example of a Lady of Patience.  Ruth did not allow her circumstances or lack of male companionship to cause her to be impatient.  Instead she concentrated on developing companionship with her heavenly Father and chose to let Him bring a husband to her if He saw fit.  Concern over the ticking of her "biological clock" did not make her fearful of the future. Instead she concentrated on being a lady of character, not on getting a man.  She took one day at a time, knowing that God was not bound by circumstances nor her age.  She used the wait to become the woman God wanted her to be.  At the end of this personal preparation God chose to provide her with a husband.

Many godly women have waited and won.  Many women have lost hope and compromised.

I, for one, do not want to settle.  Yes, I want to get married and have kids, but not with the wrong person.  Doing things ahead of Gods timing will only end in distress.  I'd rather wait another 20 years to be with my godsend than settle for someone who is not the one He has chosen for me. 

Why set myself up for disappointment?  If God wants me to be married, He will put the man for me in my life.  My job is simply to wait.  So wait, I will.  I know that God knows better than I do...despite how I may act sometimes.  Putting my trust completely in Him is easier said than done, but I know that doing so will work out better in the long run. 

When I try to do things on my own, they rarely go exactly as planned.  God doesn't have that problem.  So long as we follow Gods instructions, His plans will go off without a hitch.   So I will wait and obey.

LIWD :: day 40 :: Take the Radical Route

Does it seem too unrealistic for today's woman to set her sights on a knight in shining armor?  ...A single friend (a modern Ruth) wrote a letter in which she admitted that her high ideals often made her feel like the "Lone Ranger."  She said, " So often I meet women who don't want to go to the deeper, more radical route of separation from our culture in seeking after God's standards."  Do we lower our standards because we seem out of step with all our peers?  Does the woman in Proverbs 31 seem obsolete?  Maybe for the "cosmopolitan" woman she is obsolete, but not for the Lady of Conviction.  God has the best in hand for those who seek Him.

Ruth's choice to wait for God's best resulted in her union with a Boaz rather than a Bozo.  Ruth not only married a man who was a "pillar of strength" (Boaz), but she also was blessed by the privilege of bearing a son (Obed) who would be part of the lineage of Jesus Christ.  Ruth's wise choices resulted in her experiencing God's overwhelming goodness.

"...women...don't want want to go to the deeper, more radical route of separation from our culture in seeking after God's standards."

I've definitely been guilty of lowering, or bending, my standards when it comes to dating.  'He doesn't go to church, but he says he believes...and he's so nice!' or 'he doesn't really have any direction in his life but he's so much fun!'.  Oftentimes we get lonely and choose to settle.  We decide that maybe this characteristic isn't an end-all...maybe I can live without that....

When you are truly following God's plan for your life, there is no need to settle.  There is a need to wait.  And trust.  And wait.  And believe.  And wait. 

Waiting may not be easy, but it will be worth the reward!  If God desires for you to be married, He has someone out there for you.  They may be in your lives now...they may not.  God isn't going to orchestrate your relationship until you are both ready.  Don't just sit around, tapping your foot, waiting for your godsend to arrive!  Use this time to grow in your relationship with Christ.  Mold yourself into a woman that any godly man would be blessed to have! 

LIWD :: day 39 :: The Umpire Has the Final Word

...Your lack of contentment is because of pride.  Pride can be described as an excessively high opinion of what one deserves.  When a single's life is not moving in the direction she wants (husband, career, children, house, etc), the arguing often begins.  Whith whom is the single woman arguing?  It is none other than the umpire, the arbitrator: Jesus.  "And let the peace of Christ rule [arbitrate, umpire] in your hearts...."  (Colossians 3:15).

The struggle with the Umpire is not limited to the single women up to bat!  Every woman who has descended from Eve must learn to trust the call of her heavenly Umpire.  The trouble from the beginning was a woman not listening to the Umpire, but reaching for a life on "her terms."  Why would a woman argue with such an all-wise Umpire?  "Pride only breeds quarrels"  (Proverbs 13:10a NIV).

...Exchange your pride for Jesus' strength so you may accept whatever assignment the Umpire has for you from this moment forward.  Dating is not a reward or a prize for living for Jesus.  A Friday night without a date is often a night of "being spared" by an all-wise Umpire.

Why would a woman argue with such an all-wise Umpire?

We live in a society that breeds independent women.  We teach our children to follow their hearts, to find what makes them happy, to pursue it all costs.  Often God is left out of this equation.  As a result, we are breeding a selfish society.  Everyone is looking out only for themselves. 

I'm not saying we shouldn't be independent, that we shouldn't be able to handle our own.  I just think we need to rely on God.  I know that when I try to do things without His help, it's usually a struggle.  But when I turn to Him, he opens doors for me...or turns me around to the direction He wants me to pursue. 

Life is hard.  God can make it easier.  Don't let your burdens weigh you down.  Give them to Christ.  Let Him carry them.  He'll lead you.  He'll show you the way.  I'm not saying that life with Christ is a walk in the park...just that He can help you through.  Things are much easier when you have a helping hand.  Let God lend a hand in your life.  Let Him take the reins for awhile and see the difference He can make.

LIWD :: day 38 :: You Must Move In / Hannah Smith

Hannah Smith

Hannah Smith is the author of the popular classic, The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, which was published in 1875. Its spiritual secrets of walking with God have been a great source of spiritual strength to many generations....

The search for God finds its greatest hope as we look within, deep into our spirit, where Christ lives. Smith gives us a series of clues for developing our inner life for receiving the "Divine Seed" and preparing our spirit for ultimate union with Christ.

You Must Move In

A large part of the pain of life coms from the haunting "fear of evil" which so often besets us.  Our lives are full of supposes.  Suppose this should happen, or suppose that should happen; what could we do; how could we bear it?  But, if we are living in the "high tower" of the dwelling place of God, all these supposes will drop out of our lives.  We shall be"quiet from the fear of evil," for no threatenings of evil can penetrate into the "high tower" of God.  even when walking throught he valley of the shadow of death, the psalmist could say, "I will fear no evil"; and, if we are dwelling in God, we can say so too.

But you may ask here how you are to get into this divine dwelling place.  To this I answer that you must simply move in.  If a house should be taken for us by a friend, and we were told it was ready, and that the lease and all the necessary papers were duly attested signed, we should not ask how we could get into it -- we should just pack up and move in.  And we must do the same here.  God says that He is our dwelling place, and the Bible contains all the necessary papers, duly attested and signed.  And our Lord invites us, nay more, commands us to enter in and abide there.  In effect He says, "God is your dwelling place, and you must see to it that you take up your abode there.  You must move in."

"God is your dwelling place, and you must see to it that you take up your abode there.  You must move in."

The opposite of fear is faith.  When you fear the unknown, you are not putting your faith in Christ.  It's easy to say that we trust in God, that we know He has our back, that we believe He will take care of us -- but how often do we try to take things into our own hands?  How often do we get caught up trying to figure things out for ourselves? 

I don't know about you, but this is something I struggle with often.  Maybe it's pride.  Maybe it's my following the ways of the world.  Either way, it's just an excuse.  I know that God is the be all, know all, do all.  I just need to act as such. 

It's scary to put everything into someone elses hands...even when that someone else is God.  Hebrews 11.1 says, "Faith is the evidence of things unseen; the substance of things yet hoped for."  To put your trust in the unknown can be a daunting task, but all things are possible through Christ who loves us.

LIWD :: day 32 :: Waiting Periods

...Wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be...be assured that God has not lost your address or your file.  He knows exactly where you are and what you need....

You make the most important decison in life, giving your life to Jesus Christ, "by faith."  The second most important decision concerns your life-mate.  This decison also demands the element of faith.  Waiting for one's life-mate and then saying "I do" to him demands secure faith, like Ruth's faith in the God of Israel.

...Your faith during the "waiting period" pleases God. 

Don't fear or resent the waiting periods in your life.  These are the very gardens where the seeds of faith blossom....

This intruding anxiety about your lack of a life-mate is not reality but rather a weakness that the Greater Reality is capable of handling.  Just go to Jesus as soon as the intruder arrives.  Such a practice will only enhance your life as a Lady of Faith.  Many single women have not recognized the trying, frustrating waiting period is the perfect classroom for the Lady of Faith.  Don't skip class!  Embrace those dateless nights and, by faith, rest in His faithfulness.

Your faith during the "waiting period" pleases God. 

My friend Michael recently wrote a blog post -  ...and Then God Showed Up.  He talks of how people claim God 'suddenly' show up in their lives...as if He hadn't been there all along.  God never leaves us.  He is there always.  We may not always be able to see, hear or feel Him...but He's there. 

Sometimes God chooses to silent.  Sometimes He chooses to get in our faces.  Sometimes He clears a path for us.  Sometimes He wants us to fight our own way through.  But He is always there and He always has a plan.  Our only job is to trust in His plans and His timing.

When we use these times, where we maybe don't know what He has in store for us, to honor Him and enrich our lives rather than sit around pining for what we don't have, we will live a full life.  No man is going to want a woman who has done nothing with her singleness...a woman who has no substance, no depth.

Use your singleness to grow closer to God.  Use the time you would be using to serve your husband, to serve God.  Once you have children and a family to care for you will find it increasingly difficult to find alone or quiet time.  If you use this time to build a solid foundation with God, it will be that much easier to keep up your relationship as your life gets busier and more hectic.

LIWD :: day 17 :: Your Gift

Since sex is desirable, why not have sex?...

God wants you to be a Lady of Purity because He wants to protect you from the consequences that sex before marriage brings.  These consequences can be physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual....

Have you secretly opened a Christmas gift before Christmas Day and rewrapped it, putting it back under the tree?  How thrilling and exciting it was when you saw the surprise.  But what about the "big day" when the gifts were supposed to be opened for the first time?  Where was the excitement when you opened your gift?  The gift did not seem quite as special because it had already been opened for the first time.  Each woman receives one "first time."  God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage.  God wants you and your gift to this man to be treasured and cherished, not trampled and conquered.  Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV) says, ... "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."  God wants to protect you from losing your virginity.

God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage.

We live in a world full of lust. Sex is everywhere. It's in magazines. It's on tv. It's in movies. And it's socially acceptable. If you are abstinent, you are most likely the odd man out. The topic of abstinence comes up often in conversations with friends and coworkers. They don't understand it.

I am abstinent because I believe it is in Gods will for me to be. I am abstinent because my body is a temple to God. I am abstinent because I value my sexuality. I am abstinent because I think sex is sacred. I am abstinent because I believe all sex outside of marriage is adultery. I am abstinent because I want my wedding night to be special. I am abstinent because I want to 'make love' not -insert profanity here-.  I am abstinent because I am strong enough to be...or at least I am with Gods help. I am abstinent because I want to obey my Lord and Savior.

God has blessed me with a wonderful man who feels the same way I do.  Abstinence within a relationship would be difficult, if not impossible, when both partners aren't committed to it.  It's not a matter of either one of us not wanting to have sex, or to share that intimacy.  We just feel that sex is meant for marriage and we want our relationship to be Christ-centered rather than sex-centered.  Just because we're in agreeance does not mean it's easy.  We struggle.  My boyfriend is attractive.  I love him.  There are times when I waiver.  There are times when he waivers.  Luckily, when I am weak, he is strong...and vice versa.  We both have a strong faith and know we can rely on God to keep us on track.  We strive to have a relationship that honors Him and abstaining is a way of accomplishing just that.

LIWD :: day 15 :: True Love

Seeking God is very similar to developing a friendship.  You talk a lot, you listen, you write each other letters, you think about each other, you find out what the other likes and does not like, and you try to do things that please that person.  The more you spend time together, the more intimately you know your friend.  And the more intimately you know your friend, the greater your love will be.  It works the same way with your relationship with God.

Jeremiah 29:12-13 promises that a woman who diligently seeks God with all her heart will find Him.  Your heart is the key to devotion to God.  A halfhearted search is not sufficient.  This means you cannot seek God while you do your own thing.

Is God demanding too much to require that you seek Him with all your heart?  No way!...

...giving Christ your heart means you are not free to give it away to other things or people that come into your life (in idolatry)....  Devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ is giving everything or nothing at all.  Your devotion to Christ must be a serious commitment.

Devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ is giving everything or nothing at all.

Who is your best friend?  Someone who works with you?  Someone you went to school with?  A family member?  A neighbor?  Are you closer with them than you are with God?  No matter how well you think your best friend knows you, God knows you better.  I want to know God as well as He knows me.  I want to love God as much as He loves me.  Sounds simple right?  Yeah, not so much.  Just like any human relationship, a bond with God takes time and effort.  He wants to talk with me.  He wants me to share my innermost thoughts with Him -- my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my aspirations.  This relationship is not all about me though.  I need to learn about Him too.  I need to spend time in His word and listen to what He's telling me.

He's not interested in a lack-luster relationship.  He wants all of me.  He wants everything I have to give.  And I want to give it to Him.  I feel it's the least I can do.  He created me.  He created the world around me.  He sacrificed for me.  He forgives me when I don't deserve to be forgiven.  He died for me.  The least I can do is make Him my best friend.

LIWD :: day 11 :: Your Destiny

Do you think your ideals and standards are too high?  Do you feel the pressure to compromise and settle for the generic version of life?  Ruth lived in an era that was exactly like modern America.  Judges 21:25 describes the era in which she lived: "In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes."  We too live in a culture where it seems that no one fears God and people just "do their own thing."

You, like Ruth, will be greatly affected by your choices.  Ruth's wise choices allowed her to break a godless family cycle and begin a new cycle that the Word of god triumphantly records.  God has not changed -- and neither have men.  The high standards in God's Word are not irrelevant, but completely applicable to finding God's best for your life.  Choices, guided by your convictions rather than by chance, determine your destiny....

You cannot make good choices without proper, biblical convictions.  Don't carelessly leave your dating/relating standards to chance.  Too much depends on your decisions in this area.

Choices, guided by your convictions rather than by chance, determine your destiny...

I strongly believe that even the smallest choices can greatly impact your life.  Bad choices can snowball quickly...believe me, I have alot of experience in that!  I don't think that anything really happens by 'chance', it's all a result of how you, or others, have employed free will. 

I choose to go to work.  Sure I wouldn't be able to eat, pay my bills or anything else if I didn't...but still, it's a choice.  I choose to go to church.  I need it to feed my faith and converse with other believers.  I choose to only date believers.  I've done the alternative and it is stifling to my hearts desires. 

I don't always make the best decisions, but I know that when I apply Gods will to my life that I am doing the right thing.  I know that the resulting implications will be for the best...even when I don't understand it.  For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction.  I want my actions to shine of Gods light.

By applying Gods word in even the the most insignificant decisions, I am ensuring that I am following Gods will.  I pray that I will have the strength, the will and the determination to do just that every day of my life.

LIWD :: day 10 :: Become a Princess

When you picture the perfect man for you, what is your prince like?  Do you see a man devoted to God?  A man of character -- teachable, loyal, faithful, gentle, and kind?  What kind of woman do you think this godly man desires to marry -- a shallow woman or a woman full of charm who knows how to dress and capture other men's attention?  Is this the one he imagines he will one day spend the rest of his life with -- the mother of his heirs?  No way!!

To marry a prince, you must first become a princess.  To marry into royalty, you must be appropriately prepared.  Even Diana, the Princess of Wales, had to go through a period of  "waiting and preparing" before marrying Prince Charles.  She had to learn how to properly act, dress, and speak so she would honor the royal family.  Is it any wonder that a heavenly princess must prepare inwardly for the call to which she will give her life?  As you set your attention on developing godly character, Christ will change you into the beautiful princess He created you to be. 

To marry a prince, you must first become a princess.

I know I've been guilty of expecting perfection of others when (clearly) I am far from ideal. I do believe you should have high standards...especially when it comes to who you date and marry. But it's important you keep these standards or qualifications in check. Are you asking more of your potential life mate than you yourself are willing or able to give? Rather than sitting around waiting for God to drop Mr Right onto your front doorstep, why not take this time to expand your mind and your faith? Would you want someone who has done nothing with their life but sit around and wait for your arrival? What would you talk about? Would you be destined to spend the rest of your lives together just sitting around?

Take this time of singleness and use it as the gift from God that it is meant to be. Delve into bible studies. Join a club or two. Read. Volunteer in your community. Become a person you would admire...and, when (if) God deems it time, your godsend will admire you too.

LIWD :: day 9 :: Susanna Wesley / A Life Worthy of Eternity

Susanna Wesley

Susanna (Annesley) Wesley was born on January 20,1669, in London, England and is most know for being the mother of the famous Wesley boys, John and Charles.  Susanna was the youngest of 25 children.  Her father was a minister and often let Susanna take part in theeological discussions with his minister friends.

At the age of 19,  Susanna married 26-year-old Samuel Wesley.  He was a newly ordained Anglican priest who was named rector of the Epworth parish.  During the absence of her husband, Susanna began a Bible study within her home.  Neighbors, family, and friends soon heard of the Bible studies and the crowd soon grew to over 200 hungry souls.

Susanna regularly spent an hour in prayer and Bible reading every day.  This practice was built into the lives of her children and bore fruit in their powerful preaching and passionate prayers.

Susanna passed away on July 25, 1742.

A Life Worthy of Eternity

This life is nothing in comparison of eternity;

so very inconsiderable, and withal so wretched,

that it is not worthwhile to be, if we were to die as the beasts.

What mortal would sustain the pains, the wants, disappointments,

the cares, and thousands of calamities we must often suffer here?  But

when we consider this as a probationary state...and that if we wisely

behave ourselves here, if we purify our souls from all corrupt

and inordinate affections, if we can, by the divine assistance, recover

the image of God (moral goodness), which we lost in Adam, and

attain to a heavenly temper and disposition of mind, full of the

love of God, etc., then we justly think that this life is an effect

of the inconceivable goodness of God towards us...

I have such a vast inexpressible desire of your salvation, and such dreadful apprehensions of your failing in a work of so great importance; and do moreover know by experience how hard a thing it is to be a Christian, that I cannot for fear, I cannot but most earnestly press you and conjure you, over and over again, to give the most earnest heed to what you have already learned, lest at any time you let slip the remembrance of your final happiness, or forget what you have to do in order to attain it.

"...if we can, by the divine assistance, recover the image of God... then we justly think that this life is an effect of the inconceivable goodness of God towards us..."

Susanna Wesleys devotion is to be admired. In a time when women were not preachers or leaders in the community or in the church, she stepped up. She took a great step in faith and began to feed the souls of those around her. How often do I shut my mouth or tuck away my faith because it may be unpopular? I long to shout His praises from the mountain tops, but fear and pride often get in my way. What if they judge me? What if they shun me? What if I sound stupid? What if they ask a question I can't answer?

This is something I've been working on for awhile. It's a slow progression. To be able to speak of my faith freely and not worry what the consequences might be. I know that this is Gods desire. He wants me (and you!) to spread His word! Share the good news! While it may be difficult for me to speak up when it comes to personal matters or when I'm confronted, it could be a vital step in someones salvation. What an honor that is! I pray God will give me the strength to overcome my fears and shout out His praises.

LIWD :: day 8 :: His Script

God providentially directed Ruth to the field of Boaz. you find this divine encounter in the second chapter of Ruth, verse 3: "...and she happened to come to the portion of the field belonging to Boaz...."  The verb happened in Hebrew means "chanced upon."  This leaves no room for manipulation.  She had a chance and her chance transported her into the center of God's will and right to Boaz's field....

If Jesus wants you married, He will orchestrate the encounter.  You have nothing to fear except getting in His way and trying to "write the script" rather than following His.  Jesus does have your best interest at heart.  He desires to bless you by giving you the best.  Sometimes what you perceive as the best is nothing more than a generic version.  consider His wisdom and love in comparison to your own wisdom and self-love.  In whom are you going to trust -- all Wisdom and Everlasting Love or little ol' finite you?  ever since the Garden of Eden, women have often felt they could and should know as much as God.  Much pain in our world has resulted from dependence on our wisdom rather than on our Father's.

You have nothing to fear except getting in His way and trying to "write the script" rather than following His.

Todays devotional reminded me of conversations I had with 2 different friends.  Often during our LIW study (and in several conversations outside of, beforehand), my good friend and spiritual mentor, Desiree, would ask 'if you knew God was bringing you your perfect mate in 4 months (or however long), would you be able to wait?'.  This thought provoked me.  Of course!  I could circle a date on my calendar and count down the days until that season of my life begins!  Wonderful!  Why then...can I not trust in Gods timing?  If I am meant to be married than God will bring us together when we are both ready. 

That brings me to the 2nd friend...Michael and I discuss relationships quite often, and yesterday we broached the subject of the possibility that marriage may not be in Gods plans for one or both of us.  Hard pill to swallow.  I think that I could come to terms with not ever being married...maybe.  But the idea that I might not ever be a mom is devastating to me.  There is nothing I've wanted more...for as long as I can remember.  I've been babysitting since the moment I was allowed...for my younger sister when I was 11 and for other peoples kids when I was 12.  Part of the reason I chose the field I'm in was because of the flexibility I'll have to be at home with my kids and still work.  And since I don't want to have kids out of wedlock...I'm going to need a husband.  All I can do is pray God gives me the patience to wait on His timing and brings me my godsend or that He takes away this great desire I have.  Either way, I have to trust in His will.

LIWD :: day 6 :: Life on Hold

Some singles see the lack of a mate as God denying them something for a more "noble purpose" -- a cross to bear!  Our selfish nature tends to focus on what we do not have rather than on what we do have -- free time -- that can be used for others and ourselves.  Is your life on hold until you have someone to hold?

...Have you experienced...a crushing emotional blow?... Psalm 34.18 says, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." [A] brokenhearted woman had put her life on hold after her husband divorced her.  Such a response in understandable, but...this now single woman decided to take her broken heart, her empty arms, and her loneliness and give them to Jesus.  In exchange, Jesus taught her how to resist feeling sorry for herself and how to stop living in the arena of bitterness.  After she made the choice of recklessly abandoning herself to Jesus as Lord, she was free to serve Him.  This once brokenhearted single woman has been transformed into a fearless servant of the Lord....

Have you also put your life on hold?  Do you have an excuse for not serving Jesus?

Is your life on hold until you have someone to hold?

While God may very well be keeping me single for a purpose, I am certain that purpose is not to laze around my house. He may never intend for me to be married, if I don't use this time for a higher purpose I am ignoring His will. I may often forget that the world does not revolve around me, falling into a tailspin of self-pity when things don't go my way. The world is so much bigger than just me. I am such an insignificant part, or at least I am when I'm not doing His will.

While I may not always know exactly where God wants me...or why...I do know He doesn't want me neglecting the needs of others. What gifts do you have? Are you using them to honor God? To spread the good news? You're wasting them if you're not. It's so easy to fall off of Gods path. To take the easy way out. To take a day off from doing His will. But how great is the feeling of fulfilling His will? How accomplished do you feel when you help to bring someone to Christ?

Don't sit around waiting for when (if) God brings you a mate. Take this time to grow in Christ, discover your gifts and use them to spread His love. Putting your life on hold won't make you an ideal mate for anyone else.

LIWD :: day 5 :: Mother Teresa / My True Community

Mother Teresa

She was born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu in 1910 in Skopje, Yugoslavia (now Macedonia).  In 1928 she decided to become a nun and went to Dublin, Ireland, to join the Sisters of Loreto.  From there she went to the Loreto convent in Darjeeling, India.

In 1929 she began to teach geography at St. Mary's High School for Girls in Calcutta.  In those days the streets of Calcutta were crowded with beggars, lepers, and the homeless.  Unwanted infants were regularly abandoned on the streets or in garbage bins.  In 1946, Mother Teresa felt the need  to abandon her teaching position to care for the needy in the slums of Calcutta.

Initially focusing her efforts on poor children in the streets, Mother Teresa taught them how to read and how to care for themselves.  Many former students of St. Mary's eventually joined her order.  Each girl who joined was required to devote her life to serving the poor without accepting any material reward in return.

My True Community

Keep giving Jesus to your people not by words, but by your example, by your love being in love with Jesus, by radiating His holiness and spreading His fragrance of love everywhere you go.  Just keep the joy of Jesus as your strength.  Be happy and at peace.  Accept whatever He gives -- and give whatever He takes with a big smile.  You belong to Him.

My true community is the poor -- their security is my security, their health is my health.  My home is among the poor, and not only the poor, but the poorest of them: the people no one will go near because they are filthy and suffering from contagious diseases, full of germs and vermin -- infested; the people who can't go to church because they can't go out naked; the people who can no longer eat because they haven't the strength; the people who lie down in the street, knowing they are going to die, while others look away and pass them by; the people no longer cry because their tears have run dry!

The Lord wants me exactly where I am -- He will provide the answers.

Accept whatever He gives -- and give whatever He takes with a big smile.  You belong to Him.

What an amazing woman Mother Teresa was!  To put others before herself at all costs.  I can't imagine.  I often avoid the eyes of the homeless...why should I give away my hard earned money?  There are organizations set up to help them, are they even trying?  Are they even really homeless?  Imagine if the rolls were reversed.  Imagine how blessed you would feel to have someone provide you with a hot meal when you haven't eaten for days.  A cold drink when you've been out in the hot sun for hours with nothing.  Shelter from the rain. 

When you see someone less fortunate than yourself, how do you respond?  Do you turn the other way?  Are you thankful you aren't in their position?  Do you feel superior to them?  Or do you lend a helping hand?  Do you love them the way Jesus loves you?  Or do you deem them unworthy of your time?  I long to love as Jesus loves.  It's hard.  It requires effort and an open heart.  I pray God will grant me that sovereign heart and that I can make a difference too.

LIWD :: day 4 :: Tightly Bound

Ruth came to the God of Israel after years of living in darkness, but He gladly received her service even though she was a Moabite foreigner.  She bound herself to the service of the Lord, interweaving her service with Him like the braiding of a heavy rope.  Isaiah 56.5-7 refers to a foreigner binding himself (or herself) to the Lord and His willingly receiving their "diligent" service: "And foreigners who bind themselves to the Lord to serve Him...these I will bring to My holy mountain...".

Are you tightly bound to the Lord, serving Him diligently, or has your relationship and service been unraveling over the years as you continue to be single and not married?  Has resentment and self-pity unraveled what used to be a tightly woven labor for the Lord?  You must be sensitive to the things and situations that distract you from redeeming your free time.  "Whatever might blur the vision God had given [Elisabeth Elliot] of His work, whatever could distract or decieve or tempt others to seek anything but the Lord Jesus Himself she tried to eliminate."

Are you tightly bound to the Lord, serving Him diligently...?

I would love to say that I always diligently serve the Lord. That I never feel resentment for what I may feel is wrong in my life. But that would be lying. I try to serve the Lord, my God with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. I desire to do as such, but sometimes I stray. Sometimes the world gets to me. Sometimes satan sneaks his way in. That's why I am so thankful for the awesome support team I have in my life. I have these amazing friends who don't let me pity myself when things don't go my way. Friends who remind me of how sovereign of a God He truly is. Friends who radiate His light when I feel as though I'm in the dark.

The best I can do, is keep Him close to me. By reading my bible daily, praying constantly, surrounding myself with other believers and allowing myself to be vulnerable to Him completely, I can bound myself to the Lord. I just need to remember that Gods plan may not always line up with my own plans, but His are better. I may not understand where He's going with this, but that's okay...He does. Trust in Him and He will lead you.

LIWD :: day 3 :: His Blueprints

Another costly aspect of Ruth's choice was the time frame in Israels's history.  It was the age of the judges, a period of time described as "do your own thing"; "Everyone did what was right in his own eyes" (Judges 21.25b).  Ruth chose not only to break her family cycle, but also to challenge the lifestyle that many in Israel embraced.  She wanted God's will, not hers; His blueprints, not her elementary scribbling; God's assignment, not her foolish plans. 

Whenever a single woman decides to abandon herself completely to Jesus, as Ruth,did, she will find herself out of step with society and, sometimes, even her frineds.  A single woman today needs the boldness to challenge and break the cycle of the "American way" that exalts a relationship with a man as an answer to life.  This "American way" blurs the reality of the ultimate answer to life found in a deep relationship with Jesus Christ.  A modern-day Ruth wrote: "My deep satisfaction from my commitment to Jesus is constantly challenged by other believers.  They treat me like some kind of Neanderthal, definitely out of step with the today's woman."

His blueprints, not her elementary scribbling; God's assignment not her foolish plans

This is something I've struggled with for years. I used to believe there was a time and place for everything...including religion. I thought my religion, my faith, God, belonged at church. He belonged at my wednesday night hi-ba (high school born-againers) group in high school. He belonged in the presence of other believers. He did not belong at school. He did not belong at work. He did not belong when I was out with my non-christian friends. He did not belong in my relationships.

I have since been awakened to how seriously flawed my thinking was. He's not a 'sometimes' god. He's an 'always' God. He's there even if you don't think you want Him to be, and believe me, you want Him there. He is the only one who can deliver you. He's the only one who knows you inside out. He's the only one who can complete you. Letting Him into every aspect of your life will only augment those areas. He created it all, He knows how to get the best out it. He wants whats best for us, if only we'll allow Him in.

Doing Jesus' will may not always be the easiest or most popular road, but where it leads you will be well-worth it.