LIWD :: day 32 :: Waiting Periods

...Wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be...be assured that God has not lost your address or your file.  He knows exactly where you are and what you need....

You make the most important decison in life, giving your life to Jesus Christ, "by faith."  The second most important decision concerns your life-mate.  This decison also demands the element of faith.  Waiting for one's life-mate and then saying "I do" to him demands secure faith, like Ruth's faith in the God of Israel.

...Your faith during the "waiting period" pleases God. 

Don't fear or resent the waiting periods in your life.  These are the very gardens where the seeds of faith blossom....

This intruding anxiety about your lack of a life-mate is not reality but rather a weakness that the Greater Reality is capable of handling.  Just go to Jesus as soon as the intruder arrives.  Such a practice will only enhance your life as a Lady of Faith.  Many single women have not recognized the trying, frustrating waiting period is the perfect classroom for the Lady of Faith.  Don't skip class!  Embrace those dateless nights and, by faith, rest in His faithfulness.

Your faith during the "waiting period" pleases God. 

My friend Michael recently wrote a blog post -  ...and Then God Showed Up.  He talks of how people claim God 'suddenly' show up in their lives...as if He hadn't been there all along.  God never leaves us.  He is there always.  We may not always be able to see, hear or feel Him...but He's there. 

Sometimes God chooses to silent.  Sometimes He chooses to get in our faces.  Sometimes He clears a path for us.  Sometimes He wants us to fight our own way through.  But He is always there and He always has a plan.  Our only job is to trust in His plans and His timing.

When we use these times, where we maybe don't know what He has in store for us, to honor Him and enrich our lives rather than sit around pining for what we don't have, we will live a full life.  No man is going to want a woman who has done nothing with her singleness...a woman who has no substance, no depth.

Use your singleness to grow closer to God.  Use the time you would be using to serve your husband, to serve God.  Once you have children and a family to care for you will find it increasingly difficult to find alone or quiet time.  If you use this time to build a solid foundation with God, it will be that much easier to keep up your relationship as your life gets busier and more hectic.

LIWD :: day 31 :: Breaking Your Alabaster Box

What is in your alabaster box?  Is your box full of fantasies that began as a little girl while you listened to and watched fairy tales about an enchanting couple living happily ever after?  Have you been holding on tightly to your alabaster box of dreams, frantically searching for a man worthy of breaking your box?  Take your alabaster box to Jesus and break it in His presence, for He is worthy of such honor.  Having responded to your heavenly Bridegroom in such a manner, you can wait with confident assurance that, if it be God's will, He will provide you with an earthly bridegroom.

How do you know if you have broken your alabaster box at the feet of Jesus?  Such a decision will be reflected in reckless abandonment to the Lordship of Jesus Christ....  Take your alabaster box, with your body, soul and dreams, and entrust them to Jesus. When He is your Lord, you can joyfully walk in the path of life that He has for you.

...Have you broken the valuable alabaster box yet?

How do you know if you have broken your alabaster box at the feet of Jesus?

No earthly man will ever be truly worthy of your alabaster box...just as you will never be truly worthy of theirs.  But there's hope.  Jesus.  By submitting fully to Him, recklessly abandoning yourself to Him, you will allow Him to live through you. 

When the light of Jesus can be seen through your eyes, and you find a man who radiates that same light, together, you can unite in Jesus' name.  Together, you can give your lives to the Lord.

If it's God's will for you to marry, you will.  God will bring you your prince.  He won't be perfect.  It may take awhile.  Trust in His timing.  He knows what He's doing.  He won't bring you together before you're both ready.

So take that alabaster box and break it at the feet of Jesus.  Ask Him to cleanse you of your sin.  Ask Him to enter, not only your heart, but you're whole life.  Ask Him to live through you.  Ask Him to mold you in His image.  And pray that your godsent is doing the same.

LIWD :: day 30 :: Marriage is Not a Dream

Realizing that marriage is not a dream but real life can also help you to wait patiently.  Instead of merely being envious, get with a godly woman and see the extra load she carries.  Look at all she cannot do, instead of the fact that she has a man in her house.  Understand that in reality, married life is not constant communication, daily roses, hugs and kisses, breakfast in bed, and sheer bliss.  Marriage is every bit as much work as it is wonderful, even in God's way and time.  It is good, but don't be deceived into mistaking it for Heaven.

Since no spouse is perfect, learning to live "as one" is not without its tears.  Marriage alone is not a cure-all or answer to every heartfelt need.  If you think it is, you had better just keep waiting, for that kind of marriage doesn't exist.  Although there is a romantic inside every one of us, you must be realistic regarding marriage or the shock could be devastating.

...

Developing patience is hard.  Getting married ahead of God's timing is worse.  God may not work according to your time schedule, but He does have your best interests in mind.

Although there is a romantic inside every one of us, you must be realistic regarding marriage or the shock could be devastating.

Who wouldn't want a picture perfect marriage?  Love makes everything easier...right??  If you've ever been in a relationship, you know it takes work.  You have to respect one another.  You have to compromise.  You have to learn to pick your battles.  Marriage is no exception.

I don't think I'd want a 'perfect' marriage.  I'd be bored.  I don't want someone who just agrees with everything I say.  I need a little diversity.  I know my ideas aren't always great.  I need someone to give me another view.  I don't want a copy of me.  I want someone who compliments me. 

I don't believe love fixes everything.  I do believe that love gives you the motivation to work at something.  That's all I want....a love that's worth working at.

LIWD :: day 29 :: Missionary Dating

"Here comes the bride all dressed in...chains!'  Hey, wasn't that supposed to be "all dressed in white"?  The last word in the chorus was changed to "chains," not because the bride is marrying a member of a motorcycle gang, but because she made the unwise choice of marrying an unbeliever.  The chains symbolize what she has to look  forward to as a believer married to an unbeliever.  The Word of God speaks clearly about a partnership with an unbeliever....

...

When a single woman experiences a prolonged period of datelessness, loneliness tempts her to compromise her conviction concerning dating a growing Christian.  her dateless state may pressure her to surrender to the temptation of dating an unbeliever.  She may justify such a date in the guise of being a witness for Jesus.  Many single women have been trapped emotionally with an unbeliever when it all began with "missionary dating."  Ponder this: Every unbelieving marriage partner arrived as an unbeliever on the first date.  As trite as it may seem, every date is a potential mate.  Avoid dating an unbeliever.

...You must set a higher standard an resist dating a guy who is not growing in his intimacy with Christ.

Every unbelieving marriage partner arrived as an unbeliever on the first date.

As a follower of Christ, your main focus is God. Or at least it should be.  Your goal in life is to grow closer to God, strengthen your faith, shine His light unto others, share the word of God, and, ultimately, spend eternity with our Savior. 

It is extremely difficult to maintain a healthy, happy relationship when you have opposite goals.  If you are both striving for the same thing, you will be working together to attain that goal.  If you're focuses are not in sync, you will both me moving towards your individual goals, and, inevitably, away from eachother.

Missionary dating will lead you nowhere.  Believe me, I know.  You will, at some point - hopefully sooner rather than later - find yourselves at opposite ends of the spectrum.  You can read more of my past experience here.

Why not make your love life that much easier by dating someone who shares your life goals?  You strive to be a godly woman, then it only seems right that you should date a godly man.  If this man ends up being your husband, and ultimately the father of your children, wouldn't you want someone who shares your life views and convictions?

LIWD :: day 26 :: Julian of Norwich / Revelations of Divine Love

Julian Norwich

Julian is the most popular of the English mystics.  She lived as a Benedictine nun in Norwich, beside the St. Julian Church, from which she most likely took her name.  Little is known about Julian's life, although she is mentioned by her contemporary, Margery Kempe.

Julian's book, Revelation of Divine Love, entitled her to become the first great female writer in the English language.  Despite her disclaimers of being unskilled as an author, she wrote lively prose in a style all her own.  She was well trained in the Bible as well as in teachings of the Church.

Her theology is based upon her mystical experiences.  She became ill at the age of 30 and, in the midst of suffering, prayed for a vision of Christ's sufferings.  Once in a time of prayer Julian heard the words, "I am the foundation of your praying" -- words that greatly influenced her spiritual life.  She always pointed to the goodness and love of God, a light in time of darkness for Julian, who lived in an age of social unrest and the fear of the Black Plague.

Revelations of Divine Love

...Oftentimes our trust is not full.  We are not sure God hears us, as we think because of our unworthiness, and because we don't feel right (for we are as barren and dry oftentimes after our prayers as we were before)...For thus have I felt in myself. 

And all this brought our Lord suddenly to my mind, and He showed me these words.  he said, "I am the Ground of your asking: first it in my will that you have it; and afterwards, I make you to to will it;  and then, I make you to ask it and you do ask for it. How should it then be that you do not have what you ask for?"

...

For it is most impossible that we should ask mercy and grace, and not have it.  For everything that our good Lord makes us to ask, Himself has ordained it to us from without beginning.  Here may we see that our asking is not cause of God's goodness; and He showed that in all these sweet words when He said : I am [the] Ground.  -- And our good Lord wills that this beknown of His lovers on earth; and the more that we know [it] the more should we ask, if it be wisely taken; and is our Lord's meaning.

I am the Ground of your asking: first it is My will that you have it; and afterward, I make you to will it; and then, I make you to ask it and you do ask for it.

God is good...all the time.  All the time...God is good.  If we are truly living in His word and following in His will, then what we ask for in prayer will surely be in His will.  I often ask for earthly things.  I pray for Him to save me from my financial distress...I pray for material goods...I ask for these things so long as they are in His will.  I'm not angry, upset or disappointed when I don't get everything I ask for.  I know there is a rhyme and a reason for everything He does, or gives, regardless of whether or not I understand it. 

I know that these materialistic prayer requests are no more than second to my prayers of spiritual healing for myself and others and to my repentance.  I know that God longs for me to be compassionate and forgiving, just as He has been (and always will be) to me.  I know that God wants to radiate through me.  I know that I have the capability of shining His light unto others.  I know that won't happen if I'm not right with the Lord.

LIWD :: day 24 :: Manipulation

When you see a woman going after the guys, you probably don't immediately say, "Yes, I see that she really is insecure!"  Insecurity dwells in the heart.  What you see outwardly is a woman's age-old ability to manipulate and maneuver.  When a woman manipulates a situation, she feels personal satisfaction because she believes she's in control.

...

Manipulation and maneuvering can also take the form of serving as a "surrogate (substitute) helpmeet."  Many women want to marry as badly as they want to go to Heaven.  They long to care for a man, so they run around trying to find at least a "generic" version of the real thing.  These precious (but deceived) women constantly look for a man with a need and pounce on that need in hopes of eventually winning the affection of man.  Any male in need irresistibly attracts them.

...Women may find more pleasure doing for a man than a woman because the potential "payoff" seems more valuable.  She envisions surrendering her "surrogate" apron for an engagement ring....

...Allow God to use you to minister to brothers and sisters equally with no ulterior motives.

When a woman manipulates a situation, she feels personal satisfaction because she believes she is in control.

Never do for a man what you wouldn't do for a woman. Never do for a man what you wouldn't do for yourself.  Any 'self-less' act do you for someone else should be out of the kindness of your heart -- not for what you may or may not get in return.  People will see right through you if you only do things when it benefits you. 

Would you want a man who only did things for you when if benefited him?  Or would you rather be with someone who did things for you because he cared for you and wanted to make you happy?  I know I'd opt for the former.  I don't even like accepting favors from someone who's only looking out for themselves.  I feel as though they expect too much.  We are not owed anything.  We owe everything to God...the least we can do is give to his children without expecting anything in return.

LIWD :: day 23 :: Waiting for Our Love - Basilea Schlink

Jesus is yearning to have fellowship with us and to hear words of love drop from our lips.  He is waiting for us.  He wants us to be close to Him.  He wants to speak to us in our hearts, cultivate love's intimate relationship with us.  Only in times of quiet when no one else distracts us, and nothing else draws us away, can Jesus visit us with His love.  Let him who wishes to know the presence of Jesus and who desires to enter into bridal love for Jesus keep his times of quiet holy and faithfully for Him.

Jesus is waiting for our love.  As important as our sacrifices and our obedience to the commandments are for God (the rich young ruler sacrificed, and kept the commandments), they are not enough.  Sacrifices and obedience do not necessarily yield the "eternal, divine life."  Love does not necessarily pulsate through them.  Jesus is pulsating life and love and He wants to impart His nature to us.  Therefore, only our love, which stems from the divine, eternal life which He has granted to us, is the proper response to His love for us.  This love leads us to keep His commandments, which are His wishes for us.  It will lead us to bring Him many gifts, and to offer Him sacrifices -- but in a different spirit.

...Bridal love for Jesus is filled with delight.  There is no greater, happier, higher, richer love.

He is waiting for us.  He wants us to be close to Him.  He wants to speak to us in our hearts, to cultivate love's intimate relationship with us.

I never used to think quiet time was of any importance...until I started doing it.  What a difference it makes!  Spending that time, by myself, alone with God, in His word, really fills my spirit.  I love to sit in my backyard on a nice day looking at the lake, bible in hand and just talk to God.  Sometimes I hear Him, sometimes I don't, but I always feel fulfilled. 

But I've been slacking lately.  Chalk it up to being busy, laziness or the weather...they're all inexcusable excuses.  I was much happier and more aligned with God in my walk when I was spending quiet time with Him daily.  I think it's time I step up my game and give God the quality time He desires (and deserves!) from me.  How about you?

LIWD :: day 22 :: Deficit of a Father's Love

Women tend to struggle with insecurity because of the unique way God created them.  God made every little girl with the need to love and be loved by her earthly father.  God designed His world with a picture of a family as the theme.  The father protects, loves, and cares for his wife and their children.  The ideal earthly father models the gentle, nurturing love of the heavenly Father.  Many young women in our society did not have a father who followed God's design.  This God-given need for a father's love caused a deficit in their lives.

...

As a little girl, you may remember feeling the desire to be cherished, loved, and accepted by your daddy.  If he failed to show that love to you in God's way, perhaps you continued to search for a man who would.  No man, not even a husband, can fill the need you have for secure love.  Only Jesus, who "is the same yesterday and today yes and forever," will never disappoint or fail you (Hebrews 13.8).

...the man you marry cannot meet your need for security.  Only God's love brings security.

It's often said that a woman marries her father. Meaning, of course, someone characteristically similar. That's fantastic when your father is loving, kind, respectful, strong, brave, sensitive...etc...but what if your father is mean, angry, abusive, pessimistic, rude...etc.?

If you are a believer, then is God not your Father? Shouldn't you then seek a mate who shines His light? Wouldn't you love to see Jesus in your partners eyes? I pray that he will be able to see Jesus in mine.

While it's great to have someone to share your life with, another human will never complete you. At best, they will compliment you. A man you choose to spend the rest of your days with should be someone who brings out the best in you. For completion, you should be seeking God. A godly man will be able to assist you in seeking God. He should be aiding in your walk...and you in his...but only God should be your all in all.

LIWD :: day 21 :: It's Not Too Late

...If you are reading this "after the fact" and are dealing with the guilt of the lost gift, do not be discouraged.  Although it is true that there is only one first time, God is the God of the first-time experience.  Let Him heal your broken heart through forgiveness.  Agree with God that you have sinned and leave the sin before Him.  Then guard yourself from entering into that sin pattern again.  Learn a valuable lesson, but do not continue to beat yourself with condemnation.  Jesus paid for those sins at Calvary.  Do not continue to allow youself or the enemy to defeat you with remembering a sin once you have confessed it to God and those you have offended.  There may be consequences of your sin, but you do not have to live with the guilt of it.

...

Even though you have been freed from the guilt by confession, do not use it as an opportunity to continue in sin or to leave yourself open to temptation.  Continue to choose freedom over sin's mastery.  Lay aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles you and run with endurance the race set before you (see Hebrews 12.1).

Lay aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles you and run with endurance the race set before you.

God intended for sex to be within a marriage.  He intended for us to share that intimacy with one person only.  Yes, there is adultery and polygamy in the bible...but nowhere does it say that these things were in Gods will.  Abstinence is hard.  Especially when you're in a relationship.  But it is in Gods will for you to be this way, and through Him we can do anything!

It is considerably more difficult to abstain when you've already had sex than it is when you don't know what you're missing.  This is what God wants.  Who am I to doubt Him or His will?  Just because it's been done doesn't mean it has to be done again. 

Suppose you stole from someone and they found out and forgave you.  Would you feel blessed by their forgiveness and earn a new respect for them and their belongings?  Or would you continue to steal from them and tell them 'well I've stolen from you before so it's no big deal.'.  I hope you would choose the former.  It's the same way with sex.  God gave us this pleasure to share only in our marital bed.  We are stealing from Him when we betray His word.

I'm not saying abstinence it's easy.  Quite the opposite.  When you put your trust in the Lord, He will give you strength.  You'll be surprised at what you can accomplish with Him on your side.

LIWD :: day 20 :: Dating Standards

Don't set standards "as you go."  Emotions can be tricky.  You must make wise choices before the "flutters" and "heartthrobs" become so loud you cannot hear yourself think.  Write them down and read them often!  Commit them to God regularly in prayer.

...Here are some examples of "dating standards" that many godly woman have made.  They will help you resist the pressure to "open the gift" too early....

I will date only growing Christian men.  (You will most likely marry a man you date.  This is important!!)

I will concentrate on the friendship -- not romance.  (Don't be tricked!)

I will not spend time with him at home when we are alone.

I will not give kisses and hugs freely.

I will not lie down beside a man.

...

Women are easily turned on by words....Another way to protect your purity is to stand on guard when you hear "sweet talk."...

...words have trapped many ladies -- beware!  When you catch yourself rationalizing what you are doing and assuring yourself you are in control, make a second check.  You'll be glad you did.

Don't set standards "as you go."

Drawing firm, definitive lines or boundaries are essential if you want your dating life to honor God.  Everyones boundaries are different.  Everyones temptations are different.  Every couple is different.  Knowing what your limitations are, when enough is enough, or too much is too much, is something you need to figure out for yourself. 

It's not enough to push your tempations to the very edge.  Once you tiptoe up to that line it's too easy to step over it.  You need to set these boundaries a step ahead of the step that will push you over.  It's too easy to cross that line.  It's too easy to get caught up in a moment.  It's too easy to justify your actions in a split second.  Setting these boundaries...and sticking to them...will help you to honor God in your relationships.

LIWD :: day 19 :: Don't Give Too Easily

Don't let your heart be given away too easily.  If a man says he loves you, you don't have to echo the phrase.  To men these three words can mean all kinds of things, like "I lust for you" or "I want you to kiss me."  Or maybe he just can't think of anything else to say at the moment!...  Gradually those "I love you's" can trap you emotionally and lead you on physically.  To guard the key to your heart, make a commitment to say you love someone only if you love him with a committed love, not a casual love feeling.  You will remain much more in control of your friendship.  Real love will have time to blossom and grow without those three words.  Guard and save them to be whispered when God reveals it is time.  What a gift to tell your fiance, "you are the first person I have ever said this to: 'I love you.'"  Give meaning to those precious words, and you may use them and hear them with fondness through many happy years of marriage.

There's a second step you can take to guard your purity.  It's a radical statement, but save all your kisses for your future husband....

A woman's kiss or embrace is not just another way of saying thank you!  A kiss should say something more intimate.

...save all your kisses for your future husband.

I have a few qualms with todays devotional.  While I think it's a great thought for the only man you ever kiss to be your husband, it's not very practical.  It's about 13 years too late for me to save all my kisses.  This is just a concept I can't quite fathom.  I mean, more power to you if you choose to not kiss until your wedding day, but that's just not something I feel is necessary.  I don't think kissing is a sin.  I don't believe it's against Gods will.  I do believe that it can lead to other things, it's just a matter of drawing a definitive line and holding fast to your convictions. 

I do agree that you should guard your heart.  I am a romantic.  I love a good love story.  I've been known as boy-crazy - I'd like to say I am no longer that way.  I fall easily.  I become enraptured quickly.  I have an obsessive personality.  When I like something (or someone), I really like it (or them).  It takes effort for me not to fall completely.  Past experiences...past heartaches...have had a part in making this easier.  Every time your heart is broken, it hardens a little.  So for everytime I've let myself be vulnerable enough to get hurt I've made it that much harder for my godsent to break through to my heart. 

I am guarded with the words 'I love you'.  I use them freely when talking to my friends and family.  I want them to know they are loved and that I care.  When it comes to dating, however, that is not something I take lightly.  They are not just words.  They are a pledge of your affection.  I am blessed, in that, my boyfriend feels the same way.  I would not want him to say he loved me because that's what he's supposed to say.  I only want to hear those words from his lips when he truly means it.  That's when it means something.  That's when it's special.  That's when it's romantic.

LIWD :: day 18 :: Hannah More / Do We Really Love God

Hannah More

Born in 1745 in Bristol, England, Hannah More was to become a champion of the disenfranchised of the world.  Instead of quiet domesticity, in obscurity, Hannah blazed a trail for women.  As a powerful writer she earned a fortune which she used to set up a cottage industry that printed millions of moral tracts that were distributed around the world.  She became friends with John Newton, the ex-slave trader, who became her mentor.  She joined in with William Wilberforce in the battle against slave trade.

She has the honor of making English ladies the foremost agent in the education of the poor.  The intensity of her love for the Lord Jesus was reflected in a life given for His people.

What an example of balance: the hearts of Mary and Martha beating within the same bosom.  Hannah More proves that you can be passionate about His presence and at the same time be a servant to fellow man.

Do We Really Love God?

Our love to God arises out of our emptiness; God's love to us out of His fulness.  Our impoverishment draws us to that power which can relieve and to that goodness which can bless us.  His overflowing love delights to make us partakers of the bounties He graciously imparts.  We can only be said to love God when we endeavour to glorify Him, when we desire a participation of His nature, when we study to imitate His perfections. 

We are sometimes inclined to suspect the love of God to us, while we too little suspect our own lack of love to Him.  When the heart is devoted to God, we do not need to be perpetually reminded of our obligations to obey Him.  They present themselves spontaneously and we fulfill them readily.  We think not so much of the service as of the One served.  [The motivation which suggests the work inspires the pleasure.]  The performance is the gratification, and the omission is both a pain to the conscience and wound to the affections....

Though we cannot be always thinking of God, we may be always employed in His service.  There must be intervals of our communion with Him, but there must be not intermission of our attachment to Him.

Our love to God arises out of our emptiness; God's love to us out of His fulness.

There is a certain joy you feel when you do something selfless.  Whether it be donating money to a worthy cause, watching someones kids free of charge, helping someone move, making a meal for someone in need, giving someone a ride...whatever it is that you can do to help lighten someones load.  That warm fuzzy feeling you get from doing something good is like no other.

God has given us all gifts. How selfish is it of us when we hoard these gifts rather than using them to help others and spread His love. What will you do to get the warm fuzzies this week?

LIWD :: day 17 :: Your Gift

Since sex is desirable, why not have sex?...

God wants you to be a Lady of Purity because He wants to protect you from the consequences that sex before marriage brings.  These consequences can be physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual....

Have you secretly opened a Christmas gift before Christmas Day and rewrapped it, putting it back under the tree?  How thrilling and exciting it was when you saw the surprise.  But what about the "big day" when the gifts were supposed to be opened for the first time?  Where was the excitement when you opened your gift?  The gift did not seem quite as special because it had already been opened for the first time.  Each woman receives one "first time."  God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage.  God wants you and your gift to this man to be treasured and cherished, not trampled and conquered.  Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV) says, ... "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."  God wants to protect you from losing your virginity.

God desires for your precious gift to be given to a committed lover who will cherish, keep, and protect you in marriage.

We live in a world full of lust. Sex is everywhere. It's in magazines. It's on tv. It's in movies. And it's socially acceptable. If you are abstinent, you are most likely the odd man out. The topic of abstinence comes up often in conversations with friends and coworkers. They don't understand it.

I am abstinent because I believe it is in Gods will for me to be. I am abstinent because my body is a temple to God. I am abstinent because I value my sexuality. I am abstinent because I think sex is sacred. I am abstinent because I believe all sex outside of marriage is adultery. I am abstinent because I want my wedding night to be special. I am abstinent because I want to 'make love' not -insert profanity here-.  I am abstinent because I am strong enough to be...or at least I am with Gods help. I am abstinent because I want to obey my Lord and Savior.

God has blessed me with a wonderful man who feels the same way I do.  Abstinence within a relationship would be difficult, if not impossible, when both partners aren't committed to it.  It's not a matter of either one of us not wanting to have sex, or to share that intimacy.  We just feel that sex is meant for marriage and we want our relationship to be Christ-centered rather than sex-centered.  Just because we're in agreeance does not mean it's easy.  We struggle.  My boyfriend is attractive.  I love him.  There are times when I waiver.  There are times when he waivers.  Luckily, when I am weak, he is strong...and vice versa.  We both have a strong faith and know we can rely on God to keep us on track.  We strive to have a relationship that honors Him and abstaining is a way of accomplishing just that.

LIWD :: day 14 :: Basilea Schlink / First Love, Divided Love

Basilea Schlink

Basilea (Dr. Klara) Schlink was born in 1904.  Her education included social welfare training and a doctorate in psychology.  She was a leader of the Women's German Student Christian Movement and bravely stood against Nazi policy during the Hitler regime.  She risked her life during World War II, publicly speaking out on the unique destiny of Israel as God's people.  Mother Basilea appeared two different times before the German Gestapo for boldly proclaiming Jesus Christ as Lord; she was released despite her unwavering stance.  As Mother Basilea and another leader, Mother Martyria, led Bible studies (even teaching the Old Testament that was forbidden by the Nazis) for young people, they began to see revival.  The young girls encountered God in a fresh way; His holiness, His justice, His Lordship were experienced anew.  Those who were lukewarm in their Christianity repented; hidden sins were confessed and forgiveness flowed.

First Love, Divided Love

Jesus, who so often says "Whoever loves Me..." and asks "Do you love Me?" is concerned about our LOVE!  He is concerned about a special kind of love.  It is the love which is shadowed in the relationship between a bride and her bridegroom; that is, it is an exclusive love, a love which place the beloved, the bridegroom, above all other loves, in the first place.  As a Bridegroom, Jesus has a claim to "first love".  He who has loved us so much wants to possess us completely, with everything we are and have.  Jesus gave Himself wholly and completely for us.  Now His love is yearning for us to surrender ourselves and everything that we are to Him, so that He can really be out "first love."  so long as our love for Him is a divided love, so long as our heart is bound to family, possessions, or the like, He will not count our love to be genuine.  Divided love is of so little value to Him that He will not enter into a bond of love with such a soul, for this bond presupposes a full mutual love.  Because our love is so precious to Jesus, because he yearns for our love, He waits for our uncompromising commitment.

As a Bridegroom, Jesus has a claim to "first love."

Of course God should come first in our lives...but does it always end up that way? This was also the topic of the sermon at Church at the Bay this past Sunday. Make God your number one, your significant other your number two. It's easy to say that God is number one in our hearts, but does your life reflect that? I know mine often does not. Whether it be because of being 'too busy' or laziness or whatever. Putting God first takes discipline. You have to want Him to be there. You have to work to keep Him there. That doesn't mean that anything else in your life isn't of importance, it just means He is more important. He created you. He gave His life for you. He loves you unconditionally. Can you say all that about anything else?

I'm not sure if this is completely relevant, but it keeps popping in my head. The song None But Jesus by Brooke Fraser has powerful lyrics. They hit me everytime. I pray that they pull at your heart too and that these words are your hearts song.

in the quiet, in the stillness

I know that You are God

in the secret of Your presence

I know there I am restored

when You call, I won't refuse

each new day again I'll choose

there is no one else for me

none but Jesus

crucified to set me free

now I live to bring Him praise

in the chaos, in confusion

I know You're sovereign still

in the moment of my weakness

You give me grace to do Your will

when You call I won't delay

this is my song through all my days

all my delight is in You, Lord

all of my hope, all of my strength

all my delight is in You, Lord forevermore

LIWD :: day 13 :: A Need, A Right, A Completion

Every single woman must at some point come to grips with the fact that not all women will marry.  Marriage is not a need, though God chooses to let marriage meet some needs a woman may have.  Marriage is not a right, though God chooses to plan marriage for the majority of women.  Marriage does not complete a person, though women who properly marry find that marriage rounds out some of their weaknesses.  If marriage were a need, a right, or completion for women, then all godly women would marry.  There are many examples of true, God-honoring women who had no earthly mate but were still Ladies of Patience.

...

Don't let your impatient longings rob you of the life God wants to bless you with as a single.  Realize you do not need marriage for happiness or a full life.  If you are holding onto marriage as a right, relinquish this right so it will not keep you from God's fullest blessings.  God knows what is best for you.  His timing is perfect and He will take care of His Lady of Patience.

If marriage were a need, right, or a completion for women, then all godly women would marry.

I know I've talked of this before, but what a hard pill to swallow.  I pray that I will be blessed with someone to share my life with.  Someone to raise a family with.  What if that's not in my future?  Does that mean I will lead an empty, lonely life?  No, of course not!  I'm surrounded by people who love and care for me.  I am blessed to have made forever friends.  I don't need a man to make me whole.  All I need is my Lord and Savior.  That's not to say I don't want a husband.  It's only to say, I know that I don't need one.  I've lived 27 years without one, I'll continue to thrive if that doesn't happen for me.

LIWD :: day 12 :: Back to the Basics

May we go back to the basics for just a moment?  What is a conviction and how does one develop biblical convictions?  A conviction is a standard that serves as a springboard for your choices.  Consider where your standards, in the area of relating and dating, originated.  Are your standards based more on Hollywood's terms of love and romance, or have you allowed God's Holy Word to shape your perspective?

The Lady of Conviction gives the Lord permission to renew her mind on a daily basis.  She spends time searching the Word of God for standards that will guide her safely to God's best...She has surrendered her mind to a new persuasion:  God's perspective on love and romance.  The convictions that she establishes, based on the Word, allow her to resist being squeezed into the mold of this world.  She is a non-conformist in a biblical sense, as in Romans 12:2 (NIV) which says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will."

The Lady of Conviction gives the Lord permission to renew her mind on a daily basis.

Over the past few years my ideals and convictions have made a major shift. As I've grown in my faith, and grown closer to God, what I want (or thought I wanted) out of life has changed. If I had made a list 5 years ago of what I was looking for in a guy, it would have looked something like this:

• tall
• dark hair
• dark eyes
• olive skin
• slender
• nice smile
• makes me laugh
• outgoing
• not a pushover or a 'yes man'
• good job...or on track to having a good career

Now, while all of those things are nice, they're not essential. My list has greatly changed! Especially since doing the Lady in Waiting study. While that list was more superficial, my wants...needs, really....for a mate are more about him as a person.

• God-fearing 
• serves God before all else 
• involved in a church 
• seeks Gods will in his life 
• wants children...but does not have any yet 
• chivalrous 
• considerate 
• has life goals and actively pursues them 
• makes me smile 
• smiles because of me

Don't get me wrong here...tall, dark and handsome is still a major bonus...just not a necessity. Lucky for me, my boyfriend is tall, dark and handsome...and he loves Jesus.

LIWD :: day 11 :: Your Destiny

Do you think your ideals and standards are too high?  Do you feel the pressure to compromise and settle for the generic version of life?  Ruth lived in an era that was exactly like modern America.  Judges 21:25 describes the era in which she lived: "In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes."  We too live in a culture where it seems that no one fears God and people just "do their own thing."

You, like Ruth, will be greatly affected by your choices.  Ruth's wise choices allowed her to break a godless family cycle and begin a new cycle that the Word of god triumphantly records.  God has not changed -- and neither have men.  The high standards in God's Word are not irrelevant, but completely applicable to finding God's best for your life.  Choices, guided by your convictions rather than by chance, determine your destiny....

You cannot make good choices without proper, biblical convictions.  Don't carelessly leave your dating/relating standards to chance.  Too much depends on your decisions in this area.

Choices, guided by your convictions rather than by chance, determine your destiny...

I strongly believe that even the smallest choices can greatly impact your life.  Bad choices can snowball quickly...believe me, I have alot of experience in that!  I don't think that anything really happens by 'chance', it's all a result of how you, or others, have employed free will. 

I choose to go to work.  Sure I wouldn't be able to eat, pay my bills or anything else if I didn't...but still, it's a choice.  I choose to go to church.  I need it to feed my faith and converse with other believers.  I choose to only date believers.  I've done the alternative and it is stifling to my hearts desires. 

I don't always make the best decisions, but I know that when I apply Gods will to my life that I am doing the right thing.  I know that the resulting implications will be for the best...even when I don't understand it.  For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction.  I want my actions to shine of Gods light.

By applying Gods word in even the the most insignificant decisions, I am ensuring that I am following Gods will.  I pray that I will have the strength, the will and the determination to do just that every day of my life.

LIWD :: day 10 :: Become a Princess

When you picture the perfect man for you, what is your prince like?  Do you see a man devoted to God?  A man of character -- teachable, loyal, faithful, gentle, and kind?  What kind of woman do you think this godly man desires to marry -- a shallow woman or a woman full of charm who knows how to dress and capture other men's attention?  Is this the one he imagines he will one day spend the rest of his life with -- the mother of his heirs?  No way!!

To marry a prince, you must first become a princess.  To marry into royalty, you must be appropriately prepared.  Even Diana, the Princess of Wales, had to go through a period of  "waiting and preparing" before marrying Prince Charles.  She had to learn how to properly act, dress, and speak so she would honor the royal family.  Is it any wonder that a heavenly princess must prepare inwardly for the call to which she will give her life?  As you set your attention on developing godly character, Christ will change you into the beautiful princess He created you to be. 

To marry a prince, you must first become a princess.

I know I've been guilty of expecting perfection of others when (clearly) I am far from ideal. I do believe you should have high standards...especially when it comes to who you date and marry. But it's important you keep these standards or qualifications in check. Are you asking more of your potential life mate than you yourself are willing or able to give? Rather than sitting around waiting for God to drop Mr Right onto your front doorstep, why not take this time to expand your mind and your faith? Would you want someone who has done nothing with their life but sit around and wait for your arrival? What would you talk about? Would you be destined to spend the rest of your lives together just sitting around?

Take this time of singleness and use it as the gift from God that it is meant to be. Delve into bible studies. Join a club or two. Read. Volunteer in your community. Become a person you would admire...and, when (if) God deems it time, your godsend will admire you too.

LIWD :: day 9 :: Susanna Wesley / A Life Worthy of Eternity

Susanna Wesley

Susanna (Annesley) Wesley was born on January 20,1669, in London, England and is most know for being the mother of the famous Wesley boys, John and Charles.  Susanna was the youngest of 25 children.  Her father was a minister and often let Susanna take part in theeological discussions with his minister friends.

At the age of 19,  Susanna married 26-year-old Samuel Wesley.  He was a newly ordained Anglican priest who was named rector of the Epworth parish.  During the absence of her husband, Susanna began a Bible study within her home.  Neighbors, family, and friends soon heard of the Bible studies and the crowd soon grew to over 200 hungry souls.

Susanna regularly spent an hour in prayer and Bible reading every day.  This practice was built into the lives of her children and bore fruit in their powerful preaching and passionate prayers.

Susanna passed away on July 25, 1742.

A Life Worthy of Eternity

This life is nothing in comparison of eternity;

so very inconsiderable, and withal so wretched,

that it is not worthwhile to be, if we were to die as the beasts.

What mortal would sustain the pains, the wants, disappointments,

the cares, and thousands of calamities we must often suffer here?  But

when we consider this as a probationary state...and that if we wisely

behave ourselves here, if we purify our souls from all corrupt

and inordinate affections, if we can, by the divine assistance, recover

the image of God (moral goodness), which we lost in Adam, and

attain to a heavenly temper and disposition of mind, full of the

love of God, etc., then we justly think that this life is an effect

of the inconceivable goodness of God towards us...

I have such a vast inexpressible desire of your salvation, and such dreadful apprehensions of your failing in a work of so great importance; and do moreover know by experience how hard a thing it is to be a Christian, that I cannot for fear, I cannot but most earnestly press you and conjure you, over and over again, to give the most earnest heed to what you have already learned, lest at any time you let slip the remembrance of your final happiness, or forget what you have to do in order to attain it.

"...if we can, by the divine assistance, recover the image of God... then we justly think that this life is an effect of the inconceivable goodness of God towards us..."

Susanna Wesleys devotion is to be admired. In a time when women were not preachers or leaders in the community or in the church, she stepped up. She took a great step in faith and began to feed the souls of those around her. How often do I shut my mouth or tuck away my faith because it may be unpopular? I long to shout His praises from the mountain tops, but fear and pride often get in my way. What if they judge me? What if they shun me? What if I sound stupid? What if they ask a question I can't answer?

This is something I've been working on for awhile. It's a slow progression. To be able to speak of my faith freely and not worry what the consequences might be. I know that this is Gods desire. He wants me (and you!) to spread His word! Share the good news! While it may be difficult for me to speak up when it comes to personal matters or when I'm confronted, it could be a vital step in someones salvation. What an honor that is! I pray God will give me the strength to overcome my fears and shout out His praises.

LIWD :: day 8 :: His Script

God providentially directed Ruth to the field of Boaz. you find this divine encounter in the second chapter of Ruth, verse 3: "...and she happened to come to the portion of the field belonging to Boaz...."  The verb happened in Hebrew means "chanced upon."  This leaves no room for manipulation.  She had a chance and her chance transported her into the center of God's will and right to Boaz's field....

If Jesus wants you married, He will orchestrate the encounter.  You have nothing to fear except getting in His way and trying to "write the script" rather than following His.  Jesus does have your best interest at heart.  He desires to bless you by giving you the best.  Sometimes what you perceive as the best is nothing more than a generic version.  consider His wisdom and love in comparison to your own wisdom and self-love.  In whom are you going to trust -- all Wisdom and Everlasting Love or little ol' finite you?  ever since the Garden of Eden, women have often felt they could and should know as much as God.  Much pain in our world has resulted from dependence on our wisdom rather than on our Father's.

You have nothing to fear except getting in His way and trying to "write the script" rather than following His.

Todays devotional reminded me of conversations I had with 2 different friends.  Often during our LIW study (and in several conversations outside of, beforehand), my good friend and spiritual mentor, Desiree, would ask 'if you knew God was bringing you your perfect mate in 4 months (or however long), would you be able to wait?'.  This thought provoked me.  Of course!  I could circle a date on my calendar and count down the days until that season of my life begins!  Wonderful!  Why then...can I not trust in Gods timing?  If I am meant to be married than God will bring us together when we are both ready. 

That brings me to the 2nd friend...Michael and I discuss relationships quite often, and yesterday we broached the subject of the possibility that marriage may not be in Gods plans for one or both of us.  Hard pill to swallow.  I think that I could come to terms with not ever being married...maybe.  But the idea that I might not ever be a mom is devastating to me.  There is nothing I've wanted more...for as long as I can remember.  I've been babysitting since the moment I was allowed...for my younger sister when I was 11 and for other peoples kids when I was 12.  Part of the reason I chose the field I'm in was because of the flexibility I'll have to be at home with my kids and still work.  And since I don't want to have kids out of wedlock...I'm going to need a husband.  All I can do is pray God gives me the patience to wait on His timing and brings me my godsend or that He takes away this great desire I have.  Either way, I have to trust in His will.