Ten Years Ago Today

Ten years ago today, I was an 18 year old college sophomore.

Ten years ago today, I lived in New Jersey.

Ten years ago today, I had the day off.

Ten years ago today, my mother woke me up in a frenzy and turned on my television.

Ten years ago today, I didn't believe it was real.

Ten years ago today, I thought it was a hoax...or a dream....or something other than the horrific reality.

Ten years ago today, my older brother worked next to the world trade center.

Ten years ago today, my mum was in a panic because she couldn't get a hold of my brother.

Ten years ago today, the phone lines were jammed and it was near impossible to get a hold of anyone.

Ten years ago today, God granted me with a sense of peace - I knew my brother was okay.

Ten years ago today, my brother over-slept and didn't go into work.

Ten years ago today, I picked up my best friend and little sister from high school.

Ten years ago today, all the local businesses were shut down.

Ten years ago today, I cried out to my God.

Ten years ago today, I felt His presence.

Ten years ago today, too many people were affected.

Ten years ago today, too many people were hurt.

Ten years ago today, too many people lost their lives.

Ten years ago today, too many people lost loved ones.

Ten years ago today, this country came together.

Ten years ago today, we vowed to never forget.

Today, that wound is still fresh for so many.

Today, that day is still vivid in my mind.

Today, I know that God is still with us.

Today, we remember.

Love like You

I was listening to one of my favorite praise songs the other day (Hosanna by Hillsong United) and one line really resonated with me.

'Show me how to love like You have loved me'

I think this is something we all struggle with.  At least, I know I do.  I like to think I'm a 'nice' person.  That I treat everyone equally and fairly.  That I give people the benefit of the doubt.

But I am an imperfect person.

Too often I find myself making snap judgements or gossiping.  I like to justify it by saying I'm just venting or making an observation.  But those are just excuses, justifications.  It doesn't really excuse or justify my behavior.  My friend, Kristi, wrote about just that here.

Sometimes people just rub me the wrong way.  They haven't done anything wrong.  I am in no place to judge anyone else, but I do.  I'll say 'I love so-and-so, but can you believe what they did?' or 'she seems like a nice enough person but did you hear what she just said?'

Who am I to judge anyone?  I have a faulty personality.  I've lied.  I've cheated.  I've stolen.  I've  been mean.  I've been petty.  I've been immoral.  I've sinned countless times.

If only I could learn to love like God loves us.  He loves us unconditionally.  There is NOTHING we can do to alter that love.  No matter how many times we fall short (and we will-again and again and again...), God is there to help us back up, embrace us and say, 'it's okay, my child.  I forgive you.  I love you.  I will never leave you.'.

I want to love live that!  I want to be loved like that.  We are only human though.  We hold grudges.  We make judgements.  We are biased.  This is something I am earnestly working on.  Whenever I hear the venom of gossip flowing from my lips, I have to conciously make the decision to ask God to help me love that person better.

It doesn't matter what that person has done.  It really is none of my concern.  Their struggles are for God to deal with, not me.

Controlling my venomous tongue is difficult.  I will probably struggle with this for the rest of my earthly life, but with Gods help, I can do anything.

What do you struggle with?

Lent

Today, Ash Wednesday, marks the start of lent. This year, I will be abstaining from video games.  This may not seem like a great feat, but, trust me, it will be.  It's only been one day so far and my fingers are itching.

I play video games on my blackberry when I'm at work, or waiting for someone or something...or basically anytime my phone is in my hand.  I play Wii when I should be cleaning, or working-out, or sleeping.  I play The Sims when I watch tv...and when I'm not on the Wii.  Video games occupy an absurd amount of my time.

I will also be fasting once a week, as I have done for the last 12 years.  It always amazes me how much stronger my prayers feel, how much closer to God I feel, when I fast.

I pray this season of lent deepens and strengthens my relationship with God.  That it renews a sense of dependency on Him deep within me and lessens my need for material things.

What are you giving up this year?

LIWD :: day 58 :: Behavior Patterns

Part of reckless abandonment is realizing how much our culture has affected our behavior patterns.  You want to be Christlike, but your lifestyle is a reflection of Vogue magazine or Cosmopolitan rather than a new creation in Christ.  A.W. Tozer said, "A whole new generation of Christians has come up believing that it is possible to 'accept' Christ without forsaking the world."  Ruth had to forsake the familiar and comfortable in order to receive God's best for her life.

...

One single was persecuted, not by non-Christians but by Christians, because she chose to spend her summer studying at a Bible Institute rather than playing in the sunshine with her friends.  They actually accused her of thinking she was bettter than them because she planned to study the Bible intensively for eight weeks.  Unfortunately, our self-centered culture in America has penetrated the Church so much that a young woman not only has to choose against the American culture, but sometimes against the more subtle, worldly Christian subculture tainting the Body of Christ.

Part of reckless abandonment is realizing how much our culture has affected our behavior patterns.

 

'The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is christians - who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door and get on with another lifestyle - that is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.' I've quoted this in past posts, I know, but it so aptly fits todays devotional.

 

It's so easy to seperate God from the rest of our lives. It's so easy to 'put God away' when it's not convenient for you to christian. Proclaiming the love of Christ isn't always easy. Nonbelievers make it difficult. Other believers make it difficult.

Sharing Gods love takes courage. It takes will. It takes strength. It takes compassion. It takes Gods help. He will give you the courage, the strenght and the compassion...if only you will ask for it. We might seem odd to our friends when we speak out for our God. It may make us unpopular to forsake the way of the world for His will. That's a risk I'm willing to take...how about you?

LIWD :: day 54 :: Contentment

Whether married or single,...the key to your enjoying this moment deals with your inner contentment....

...

Whether married or single, one must learn that it is Jesus who strengthens you to walk in the most dismal or delightful of circumstances.  True contentment is learned.  You are not born with it and you cannot buy it at one of Kmart's blue-light specials.  Your classroom for learning is your daily life.  Every shattered dream or unfulfilled expectation serves as a perfect opportunity to learn contenment.  These circumstances are your classroom assignments for learning the mystery of contentment.  Learning contentment will require complete dependence upon Jesus, for difficult circumstances without the strength of Jesus can rob you of potential contentment.  Do not be deceived into thinking you do not need Jesus' strength to face the good circumstances as well as the bad.  When the sun is shining with no clouds in sight, you may assume that you can securely bask in the sunshine without any prospect of rain; however, this full feeling can easily breed a tendency to ignore Jesus.  "Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?'"  (Prov. 30:9a NIV)

Every shattered dream or unfulfilled expectation serves as a perfect opportunity to learn contentment.

Contentment can be hard.  I think that gratefulness and contentment go hand in hand.  Whenever I notice myself being discontented with things in my life...or starting to whine and gripe about all that is wrong...I try to think of things I am thankful for.  It helps if these things are connected, but it doesn't necessarily have to be so.

I hate my job...but I have a job and I love my career
I've buried myself in a mountain of debt...but I have a roof over my head and food in my belly
I don't have a car...but cycling is great exercise and I live in the sunshine state
I miss out on family outings because I'm so far away...but I'm surrounded by great friends

Sometimes the silver lining is very evident...sometimes you have to search for it.  If you have trouble finding the silver lining, ask God to show it to you.  Lay your burdens at His feet and ask Him to help you through. 

If it feels like everything in your life is going wrong, make a list of the things you are grateful for.  Do you have friends who love and care for you?  Do you have shoes on your feet?  Clothes on your back?  Food in your belly?  Oxygen in your lungs?  A roof over your head?  Money in your bank account?  Is the sun shining?  There are so many little things we take for granted. 

God has gifted us with life and then with a Savior to cleanse us from our sins.  Look for the silver lining next time you feel a dark cloud looming overhead.

LIWD :: day 50 :: Devotion

...It is hard enough for a single woman to keep her focus where it should be without friends making insensitive comments [about not being married]. How much better it would be for the Lady in Waiting if she were encouraged to pursue her undistracted devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ, instead of being made to feel like she does not quite measure up....

Much too often people view a single woman as though she should be pitied rather than envied. Nothing could be further from the truth. A Lady in Waiting has the advantage of being able to develop her love relationship with Christ without the distraction that a husband or family inherently bring to one's heart.

This has been God's plan from the beginning. He tenderly created woman to love Him and to experience the blessedness of fellowship with Him. In those first days, Eve communed with God in indescribable fellowship and oneness. When God came to walk in the cool of the day, there was no fear; only love. Eve had only positive feelings about God. She loved Him and knew He loved her. She enjoyed Him and devoted herself totally to His pleasure.

A Lady in Waiting has the advantage of being able to develop her love relationship with Christ without the distraction...

It's easy enough to say that God is the center of my universe...but do my life choices actually reflect that? How often do I choose facebook over God? Or tv? Or going out with friends? Or scrapbooking? Or work? Or whatever it is that seems to occupy my time?

I find it hard now to spend time daily with my Savior...how much harder will it be when I have a husband? And then, even more so, once I have children?

As a single woman, I am blessed with an abundance of free time. Even if I don't always feel that way, it is absolutely true. Too often, I am too tired or too busy or, just plain, too lazy to make time for God.

Doing this devotional has definitely helped me to make more time for God. But it's not enough. I need to be daily in my bible. I need to have daily heart-to-hearts with my Creator.

I long to have a more intimate relationship with my Jesus. It's up to me to make it that way. He's already there, arms open, waiting for me to come to Him. All I have to do is make the room in my life. I think I can make God my number one priority...can you?

LIWD :: day 46 :: The Prayer of the Heart

Let all pray: you should live by prayer, as you should live by love.  "I counsel you to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that ye may be rich."  (Rev. iii. 18.)  This is very easily obtained, more easily than you can conceive.

Come all ye that are athirst to the living waters, not lose your precious moments in hewing out cisterns that will hold no water.  (John vii. 37; Jer. ii. 13.)  Come ye famishing souls, who find nought to satisfy you; come, and ye shall be filled!  Come, ye poor afflicted ones, bending beneath your load of whretchedness and pain, and ye shall be consoled!  Come, ye sick, to your physician, and be not fearful of approaching him because ye are filled with diseases; show them, and they shall be lealed!

Children, draw near to your Father, and he will embrace you in the arms of love!  Come ye poor, stray, wandering sheep, return to your Shepherd!  Come, sinners, to your Savior!  Come ye dull, ignorant, and illiterate, ye who think yourselves the most incapable of prayer!  Ye are more peculiarly called and adapted thereto.  Let all without exception come, for Jesus Christ hath called ALL.

-Madame Guyon

Children, draw near to your Father, and He will embrace you in the arms of love!  Come ye poor, stray, wandering sheep, reurn to your Shepherd!

I talk to God frequently throughout my day.  I pray when I'm happy.  I pray when I'm sad.  I pray when I'm frustrated.  I pray when I'm excited.  I pray when I'm angry.  I pray when I don't know what to feel.  I pray when a friend is struggling.  I pray when I see an ambulance or firetruck answering their call of duty. 

For me, talking to God...telling Him how I'm feeling...brings me closer to Him.  I know, that he is omniscient.  I know that I don't have to voice my feelings for Him to know what they are.  He already knows.  But I believe He wants me to tell Him.  He wants me to bring all that I am to Him.  He wants me to take my frustrations, my fears, my hopes, my dreams, my aspirations, and lay them at His feet.

Leaving my frustrations with God helps to take the weight off.  This world is hard.  I can't handle it on my own.  With God things are so much easier!  With God all things are possible.  Let Him take the weight off your shoulders.   Let Him carry your burden. 

LIWD :: day 45 :: Single Hours

The perfect time to make the most of every opportunity is while you are single. Every believer should use time wisely as Ephesians 5:15-17 (NIV) says....

Rather than staying home worrying about another "dateless" Saturday night, realize how much valuable time has been entrusted to you at this point in your life. Rather than resent your many single hours, embrace them as a gift from God -- a package that contains opportunities to serve Him that are limited only by your own self-pity and lack of obedience.

...Countless single women stay home rather than travel alone into the unknown. They not only miss out on being encouraged by others, but also are not exposed to new relationships when they remain at home tied up by cords of fear and feeling sorry for themselves.

If a single woman allows the fearful prospect of meeting new people and new challenges to keep her at home, she may find herself bored and lonely while all the time missing many satifsfying and fulfilling experiences....

Are you busy serving Jesus during your free time, or do you waste hours trying to pursue and snag an available guy?

Rather than resent your many single hours, embrace them as a gift from God...

I wouldn't say I waste my time pursuing men...but I definitely waste it on other things! A friend mine recently wrote of what distracts him from God on his blog. You can check it out here.

I often find myself running out of time. I didn't have time to read my bible today. I wasn't able to fit in any quiet time. While I try and try to justify these excuses...and, really, that's all they are - excuses...I know that if I really wanted to, I could - and would - make time. So what's stopping me?

Am I afraid of where God may lead me? Am I afraid He may want me to break off certain relationships? Am I afraid He may want to break me of certain habits? Do I not want to grow closer to my Savior? Is facebook really more intriguing than my all-encompassing God?

Deep down I know that God is the most important part of my being...or at least He should be. When I put other things over Him (work, friends, boyfriend, facebook, laziness...etc), I am submitting myself to idolatry. I can say all that I like that I don't idolize my laptop...but what gets more of my time? God or my beloved dell? Sad to say it's the dell.

This is really something I need to work on. And it's hard. Shut down the computer. Turn off the tv. Open my bible. Focus on God. Much easier said than done. But I do long for a deeper relationship with my Savior. So as hard as it may be...as much will power as it may take...I will put my God before my electronics...and everything else in my life. How about you?

LIWD :: day 33 :: Cleanup Time

If you are to know God intimately, then you must seek Him, not only with a whole heart, but also a clean heart.  When you think of the word bride, you probably first imagine a beautiful, clean, pure woman in white.  No grime or dirt mars the image of purity.  As a Christian you are part of the Bride of Christ.  Any grime or dirt of sin will mar your image before Him. 

The Lord's fiance must have a clean heart.  You must clean up any blot of sin that may arise between you and your heavenly Sweetheart.  Sin...is disgusting to Him; He will not abide with it.  Picture a couple deeply in love.  He loves to be near her -- so near he can breathe the fresh aroma of her sweet breath!...  What do you think she does before she sees him if she has eaten onions?...  Not only does she brush, but she also "Scopes, Close-ups, and Gleems."  She doesn't want to offend her love!...  Sin is far more repulsive to God than even onion breath....  If you want your devotion to God to be complete, don't merely brush at sin lightly.  Get in there and confess it, clean it up, and clear it out.

If you want your devotion to God to be complete, don't merely brush at sin lightly.

Everyone has an achilles heel.  A great temptation.  A repeating sin.  It may be drugs, alcohol, sex, lying, anger, stealing...whatever.  It may be something you downplay.  It may be something that you can't hide.  It is often caused by an underlying issue.  So how do we stop?

How do we resist these temptations in our lives?  How do we stop doing something that has become so habitual to us?  The answer is we can't.  At least not on our own.  That's why we need to call on Jesus.  We need to ask for His help in delving into our hearts, our souls, our minds...and clearing out our sin.

As humans, we find it hard to forgive.  It's a great effort for us.  When someone wrongs us, we want to hold a grudge.  We want them to pay for any hurt they may have caused us.  Luckily, God is not that way.  He created us.  He knows us...whether or not we want Him to.  He forgives us no matter what we do.  All he asks is that we come to Him.  He wants us to fall on our knees before Him and whole-heartedly ask for His forgiveness.  He wants to help us.  He wants to make us pure.  All we have to do is ask.

LIWD :: day 31 :: Breaking Your Alabaster Box

What is in your alabaster box?  Is your box full of fantasies that began as a little girl while you listened to and watched fairy tales about an enchanting couple living happily ever after?  Have you been holding on tightly to your alabaster box of dreams, frantically searching for a man worthy of breaking your box?  Take your alabaster box to Jesus and break it in His presence, for He is worthy of such honor.  Having responded to your heavenly Bridegroom in such a manner, you can wait with confident assurance that, if it be God's will, He will provide you with an earthly bridegroom.

How do you know if you have broken your alabaster box at the feet of Jesus?  Such a decision will be reflected in reckless abandonment to the Lordship of Jesus Christ....  Take your alabaster box, with your body, soul and dreams, and entrust them to Jesus. When He is your Lord, you can joyfully walk in the path of life that He has for you.

...Have you broken the valuable alabaster box yet?

How do you know if you have broken your alabaster box at the feet of Jesus?

No earthly man will ever be truly worthy of your alabaster box...just as you will never be truly worthy of theirs.  But there's hope.  Jesus.  By submitting fully to Him, recklessly abandoning yourself to Him, you will allow Him to live through you. 

When the light of Jesus can be seen through your eyes, and you find a man who radiates that same light, together, you can unite in Jesus' name.  Together, you can give your lives to the Lord.

If it's God's will for you to marry, you will.  God will bring you your prince.  He won't be perfect.  It may take awhile.  Trust in His timing.  He knows what He's doing.  He won't bring you together before you're both ready.

So take that alabaster box and break it at the feet of Jesus.  Ask Him to cleanse you of your sin.  Ask Him to enter, not only your heart, but you're whole life.  Ask Him to live through you.  Ask Him to mold you in His image.  And pray that your godsent is doing the same.

LIWD :: day 22 :: Deficit of a Father's Love

Women tend to struggle with insecurity because of the unique way God created them.  God made every little girl with the need to love and be loved by her earthly father.  God designed His world with a picture of a family as the theme.  The father protects, loves, and cares for his wife and their children.  The ideal earthly father models the gentle, nurturing love of the heavenly Father.  Many young women in our society did not have a father who followed God's design.  This God-given need for a father's love caused a deficit in their lives.

...

As a little girl, you may remember feeling the desire to be cherished, loved, and accepted by your daddy.  If he failed to show that love to you in God's way, perhaps you continued to search for a man who would.  No man, not even a husband, can fill the need you have for secure love.  Only Jesus, who "is the same yesterday and today yes and forever," will never disappoint or fail you (Hebrews 13.8).

...the man you marry cannot meet your need for security.  Only God's love brings security.

It's often said that a woman marries her father. Meaning, of course, someone characteristically similar. That's fantastic when your father is loving, kind, respectful, strong, brave, sensitive...etc...but what if your father is mean, angry, abusive, pessimistic, rude...etc.?

If you are a believer, then is God not your Father? Shouldn't you then seek a mate who shines His light? Wouldn't you love to see Jesus in your partners eyes? I pray that he will be able to see Jesus in mine.

While it's great to have someone to share your life with, another human will never complete you. At best, they will compliment you. A man you choose to spend the rest of your days with should be someone who brings out the best in you. For completion, you should be seeking God. A godly man will be able to assist you in seeking God. He should be aiding in your walk...and you in his...but only God should be your all in all.

LIWD :: day 16 :: Choose: Him or What He Can Give

Many seek God, but only for His hand.  They don't want God as much as they want something from God, such as a man, happiness, or a family.  This impure search for God is limited to what you can get.  It is more of a self-love than a God-love.  This seeking will end in misery, not in the union of love you desire.  God...knows your motives.  To grow in your knowledge of God, you must seek God correctly, which means you must also seek God with a pure heart.

A woman with a pure heart for God does not focus on what He gives, but delights in who He is.  She seeks God's face, not just His hand.  Would you want someone to say he loves you just so you would do something for him?  To find, God, you must seek Him with pure motives.  Seek Him for who He is, not just for what He can do for you....

...

Singleness does not have to be a curse....Singleness puts you in an advantageous position because, more than likely, you have much more time to seek the Lord now than you will ever have if you marry.

...you must seek God correctly, which means you must also seek God with a pure heart.

God loves us.  Period.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  He loves us.  There's nothing you can do to make Him love you more.  There's nothing you can do to make Him love you less.  He loves you unconditionally...no matter what.

As humans, we are naturally selfish.  We live in a world of gimme, gimme, gimme.  Most of us have been guilty, at one point or another, of falsely believing that the world revolves around us.  It's natural that everytime we want something, we turn to God.  Please get me out of this situation.  Please let this happen for me.  Please make this happen.  Please give me this.  Please spare me that.  How often are those pleases followed with thank yous.  How often are those pleases followed by an if it is in Your will?  If you are anything like me, not often enough.  The world does not revolve around us.  Everything does not happen to benefit ourselves.  No matter what we do, how much we try to make things happen, God is in control...always was, always is, and always will be. 

He loves us not despite our flaws and not because of our talents.  He loves us because we are His children.  He created us and He just loves us.  As soon as we can realize that we do not deserve any of the things He has chosen to give us and accept the love that He gives us unconditionally, only then can we truly love Him back the way He deserves to be loved.

LIWD :: day 15 :: True Love

Seeking God is very similar to developing a friendship.  You talk a lot, you listen, you write each other letters, you think about each other, you find out what the other likes and does not like, and you try to do things that please that person.  The more you spend time together, the more intimately you know your friend.  And the more intimately you know your friend, the greater your love will be.  It works the same way with your relationship with God.

Jeremiah 29:12-13 promises that a woman who diligently seeks God with all her heart will find Him.  Your heart is the key to devotion to God.  A halfhearted search is not sufficient.  This means you cannot seek God while you do your own thing.

Is God demanding too much to require that you seek Him with all your heart?  No way!...

...giving Christ your heart means you are not free to give it away to other things or people that come into your life (in idolatry)....  Devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ is giving everything or nothing at all.  Your devotion to Christ must be a serious commitment.

Devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ is giving everything or nothing at all.

Who is your best friend?  Someone who works with you?  Someone you went to school with?  A family member?  A neighbor?  Are you closer with them than you are with God?  No matter how well you think your best friend knows you, God knows you better.  I want to know God as well as He knows me.  I want to love God as much as He loves me.  Sounds simple right?  Yeah, not so much.  Just like any human relationship, a bond with God takes time and effort.  He wants to talk with me.  He wants me to share my innermost thoughts with Him -- my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my aspirations.  This relationship is not all about me though.  I need to learn about Him too.  I need to spend time in His word and listen to what He's telling me.

He's not interested in a lack-luster relationship.  He wants all of me.  He wants everything I have to give.  And I want to give it to Him.  I feel it's the least I can do.  He created me.  He created the world around me.  He sacrificed for me.  He forgives me when I don't deserve to be forgiven.  He died for me.  The least I can do is make Him my best friend.

LIWD :: day 14 :: Basilea Schlink / First Love, Divided Love

Basilea Schlink

Basilea (Dr. Klara) Schlink was born in 1904.  Her education included social welfare training and a doctorate in psychology.  She was a leader of the Women's German Student Christian Movement and bravely stood against Nazi policy during the Hitler regime.  She risked her life during World War II, publicly speaking out on the unique destiny of Israel as God's people.  Mother Basilea appeared two different times before the German Gestapo for boldly proclaiming Jesus Christ as Lord; she was released despite her unwavering stance.  As Mother Basilea and another leader, Mother Martyria, led Bible studies (even teaching the Old Testament that was forbidden by the Nazis) for young people, they began to see revival.  The young girls encountered God in a fresh way; His holiness, His justice, His Lordship were experienced anew.  Those who were lukewarm in their Christianity repented; hidden sins were confessed and forgiveness flowed.

First Love, Divided Love

Jesus, who so often says "Whoever loves Me..." and asks "Do you love Me?" is concerned about our LOVE!  He is concerned about a special kind of love.  It is the love which is shadowed in the relationship between a bride and her bridegroom; that is, it is an exclusive love, a love which place the beloved, the bridegroom, above all other loves, in the first place.  As a Bridegroom, Jesus has a claim to "first love".  He who has loved us so much wants to possess us completely, with everything we are and have.  Jesus gave Himself wholly and completely for us.  Now His love is yearning for us to surrender ourselves and everything that we are to Him, so that He can really be out "first love."  so long as our love for Him is a divided love, so long as our heart is bound to family, possessions, or the like, He will not count our love to be genuine.  Divided love is of so little value to Him that He will not enter into a bond of love with such a soul, for this bond presupposes a full mutual love.  Because our love is so precious to Jesus, because he yearns for our love, He waits for our uncompromising commitment.

As a Bridegroom, Jesus has a claim to "first love."

Of course God should come first in our lives...but does it always end up that way? This was also the topic of the sermon at Church at the Bay this past Sunday. Make God your number one, your significant other your number two. It's easy to say that God is number one in our hearts, but does your life reflect that? I know mine often does not. Whether it be because of being 'too busy' or laziness or whatever. Putting God first takes discipline. You have to want Him to be there. You have to work to keep Him there. That doesn't mean that anything else in your life isn't of importance, it just means He is more important. He created you. He gave His life for you. He loves you unconditionally. Can you say all that about anything else?

I'm not sure if this is completely relevant, but it keeps popping in my head. The song None But Jesus by Brooke Fraser has powerful lyrics. They hit me everytime. I pray that they pull at your heart too and that these words are your hearts song.

in the quiet, in the stillness

I know that You are God

in the secret of Your presence

I know there I am restored

when You call, I won't refuse

each new day again I'll choose

there is no one else for me

none but Jesus

crucified to set me free

now I live to bring Him praise

in the chaos, in confusion

I know You're sovereign still

in the moment of my weakness

You give me grace to do Your will

when You call I won't delay

this is my song through all my days

all my delight is in You, Lord

all of my hope, all of my strength

all my delight is in You, Lord forevermore

LIWD :: day 13 :: A Need, A Right, A Completion

Every single woman must at some point come to grips with the fact that not all women will marry.  Marriage is not a need, though God chooses to let marriage meet some needs a woman may have.  Marriage is not a right, though God chooses to plan marriage for the majority of women.  Marriage does not complete a person, though women who properly marry find that marriage rounds out some of their weaknesses.  If marriage were a need, a right, or completion for women, then all godly women would marry.  There are many examples of true, God-honoring women who had no earthly mate but were still Ladies of Patience.

...

Don't let your impatient longings rob you of the life God wants to bless you with as a single.  Realize you do not need marriage for happiness or a full life.  If you are holding onto marriage as a right, relinquish this right so it will not keep you from God's fullest blessings.  God knows what is best for you.  His timing is perfect and He will take care of His Lady of Patience.

If marriage were a need, right, or a completion for women, then all godly women would marry.

I know I've talked of this before, but what a hard pill to swallow.  I pray that I will be blessed with someone to share my life with.  Someone to raise a family with.  What if that's not in my future?  Does that mean I will lead an empty, lonely life?  No, of course not!  I'm surrounded by people who love and care for me.  I am blessed to have made forever friends.  I don't need a man to make me whole.  All I need is my Lord and Savior.  That's not to say I don't want a husband.  It's only to say, I know that I don't need one.  I've lived 27 years without one, I'll continue to thrive if that doesn't happen for me.

LIWD :: day 12 :: Back to the Basics

May we go back to the basics for just a moment?  What is a conviction and how does one develop biblical convictions?  A conviction is a standard that serves as a springboard for your choices.  Consider where your standards, in the area of relating and dating, originated.  Are your standards based more on Hollywood's terms of love and romance, or have you allowed God's Holy Word to shape your perspective?

The Lady of Conviction gives the Lord permission to renew her mind on a daily basis.  She spends time searching the Word of God for standards that will guide her safely to God's best...She has surrendered her mind to a new persuasion:  God's perspective on love and romance.  The convictions that she establishes, based on the Word, allow her to resist being squeezed into the mold of this world.  She is a non-conformist in a biblical sense, as in Romans 12:2 (NIV) which says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will."

The Lady of Conviction gives the Lord permission to renew her mind on a daily basis.

Over the past few years my ideals and convictions have made a major shift. As I've grown in my faith, and grown closer to God, what I want (or thought I wanted) out of life has changed. If I had made a list 5 years ago of what I was looking for in a guy, it would have looked something like this:

• tall
• dark hair
• dark eyes
• olive skin
• slender
• nice smile
• makes me laugh
• outgoing
• not a pushover or a 'yes man'
• good job...or on track to having a good career

Now, while all of those things are nice, they're not essential. My list has greatly changed! Especially since doing the Lady in Waiting study. While that list was more superficial, my wants...needs, really....for a mate are more about him as a person.

• God-fearing 
• serves God before all else 
• involved in a church 
• seeks Gods will in his life 
• wants children...but does not have any yet 
• chivalrous 
• considerate 
• has life goals and actively pursues them 
• makes me smile 
• smiles because of me

Don't get me wrong here...tall, dark and handsome is still a major bonus...just not a necessity. Lucky for me, my boyfriend is tall, dark and handsome...and he loves Jesus.

LIWD :: day 10 :: Become a Princess

When you picture the perfect man for you, what is your prince like?  Do you see a man devoted to God?  A man of character -- teachable, loyal, faithful, gentle, and kind?  What kind of woman do you think this godly man desires to marry -- a shallow woman or a woman full of charm who knows how to dress and capture other men's attention?  Is this the one he imagines he will one day spend the rest of his life with -- the mother of his heirs?  No way!!

To marry a prince, you must first become a princess.  To marry into royalty, you must be appropriately prepared.  Even Diana, the Princess of Wales, had to go through a period of  "waiting and preparing" before marrying Prince Charles.  She had to learn how to properly act, dress, and speak so she would honor the royal family.  Is it any wonder that a heavenly princess must prepare inwardly for the call to which she will give her life?  As you set your attention on developing godly character, Christ will change you into the beautiful princess He created you to be. 

To marry a prince, you must first become a princess.

I know I've been guilty of expecting perfection of others when (clearly) I am far from ideal. I do believe you should have high standards...especially when it comes to who you date and marry. But it's important you keep these standards or qualifications in check. Are you asking more of your potential life mate than you yourself are willing or able to give? Rather than sitting around waiting for God to drop Mr Right onto your front doorstep, why not take this time to expand your mind and your faith? Would you want someone who has done nothing with their life but sit around and wait for your arrival? What would you talk about? Would you be destined to spend the rest of your lives together just sitting around?

Take this time of singleness and use it as the gift from God that it is meant to be. Delve into bible studies. Join a club or two. Read. Volunteer in your community. Become a person you would admire...and, when (if) God deems it time, your godsend will admire you too.

LIWD :: day 9 :: Susanna Wesley / A Life Worthy of Eternity

Susanna Wesley

Susanna (Annesley) Wesley was born on January 20,1669, in London, England and is most know for being the mother of the famous Wesley boys, John and Charles.  Susanna was the youngest of 25 children.  Her father was a minister and often let Susanna take part in theeological discussions with his minister friends.

At the age of 19,  Susanna married 26-year-old Samuel Wesley.  He was a newly ordained Anglican priest who was named rector of the Epworth parish.  During the absence of her husband, Susanna began a Bible study within her home.  Neighbors, family, and friends soon heard of the Bible studies and the crowd soon grew to over 200 hungry souls.

Susanna regularly spent an hour in prayer and Bible reading every day.  This practice was built into the lives of her children and bore fruit in their powerful preaching and passionate prayers.

Susanna passed away on July 25, 1742.

A Life Worthy of Eternity

This life is nothing in comparison of eternity;

so very inconsiderable, and withal so wretched,

that it is not worthwhile to be, if we were to die as the beasts.

What mortal would sustain the pains, the wants, disappointments,

the cares, and thousands of calamities we must often suffer here?  But

when we consider this as a probationary state...and that if we wisely

behave ourselves here, if we purify our souls from all corrupt

and inordinate affections, if we can, by the divine assistance, recover

the image of God (moral goodness), which we lost in Adam, and

attain to a heavenly temper and disposition of mind, full of the

love of God, etc., then we justly think that this life is an effect

of the inconceivable goodness of God towards us...

I have such a vast inexpressible desire of your salvation, and such dreadful apprehensions of your failing in a work of so great importance; and do moreover know by experience how hard a thing it is to be a Christian, that I cannot for fear, I cannot but most earnestly press you and conjure you, over and over again, to give the most earnest heed to what you have already learned, lest at any time you let slip the remembrance of your final happiness, or forget what you have to do in order to attain it.

"...if we can, by the divine assistance, recover the image of God... then we justly think that this life is an effect of the inconceivable goodness of God towards us..."

Susanna Wesleys devotion is to be admired. In a time when women were not preachers or leaders in the community or in the church, she stepped up. She took a great step in faith and began to feed the souls of those around her. How often do I shut my mouth or tuck away my faith because it may be unpopular? I long to shout His praises from the mountain tops, but fear and pride often get in my way. What if they judge me? What if they shun me? What if I sound stupid? What if they ask a question I can't answer?

This is something I've been working on for awhile. It's a slow progression. To be able to speak of my faith freely and not worry what the consequences might be. I know that this is Gods desire. He wants me (and you!) to spread His word! Share the good news! While it may be difficult for me to speak up when it comes to personal matters or when I'm confronted, it could be a vital step in someones salvation. What an honor that is! I pray God will give me the strength to overcome my fears and shout out His praises.

LIWD :: day 8 :: His Script

God providentially directed Ruth to the field of Boaz. you find this divine encounter in the second chapter of Ruth, verse 3: "...and she happened to come to the portion of the field belonging to Boaz...."  The verb happened in Hebrew means "chanced upon."  This leaves no room for manipulation.  She had a chance and her chance transported her into the center of God's will and right to Boaz's field....

If Jesus wants you married, He will orchestrate the encounter.  You have nothing to fear except getting in His way and trying to "write the script" rather than following His.  Jesus does have your best interest at heart.  He desires to bless you by giving you the best.  Sometimes what you perceive as the best is nothing more than a generic version.  consider His wisdom and love in comparison to your own wisdom and self-love.  In whom are you going to trust -- all Wisdom and Everlasting Love or little ol' finite you?  ever since the Garden of Eden, women have often felt they could and should know as much as God.  Much pain in our world has resulted from dependence on our wisdom rather than on our Father's.

You have nothing to fear except getting in His way and trying to "write the script" rather than following His.

Todays devotional reminded me of conversations I had with 2 different friends.  Often during our LIW study (and in several conversations outside of, beforehand), my good friend and spiritual mentor, Desiree, would ask 'if you knew God was bringing you your perfect mate in 4 months (or however long), would you be able to wait?'.  This thought provoked me.  Of course!  I could circle a date on my calendar and count down the days until that season of my life begins!  Wonderful!  Why then...can I not trust in Gods timing?  If I am meant to be married than God will bring us together when we are both ready. 

That brings me to the 2nd friend...Michael and I discuss relationships quite often, and yesterday we broached the subject of the possibility that marriage may not be in Gods plans for one or both of us.  Hard pill to swallow.  I think that I could come to terms with not ever being married...maybe.  But the idea that I might not ever be a mom is devastating to me.  There is nothing I've wanted more...for as long as I can remember.  I've been babysitting since the moment I was allowed...for my younger sister when I was 11 and for other peoples kids when I was 12.  Part of the reason I chose the field I'm in was because of the flexibility I'll have to be at home with my kids and still work.  And since I don't want to have kids out of wedlock...I'm going to need a husband.  All I can do is pray God gives me the patience to wait on His timing and brings me my godsend or that He takes away this great desire I have.  Either way, I have to trust in His will.

LIWD :: day 6 :: Life on Hold

Some singles see the lack of a mate as God denying them something for a more "noble purpose" -- a cross to bear!  Our selfish nature tends to focus on what we do not have rather than on what we do have -- free time -- that can be used for others and ourselves.  Is your life on hold until you have someone to hold?

...Have you experienced...a crushing emotional blow?... Psalm 34.18 says, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." [A] brokenhearted woman had put her life on hold after her husband divorced her.  Such a response in understandable, but...this now single woman decided to take her broken heart, her empty arms, and her loneliness and give them to Jesus.  In exchange, Jesus taught her how to resist feeling sorry for herself and how to stop living in the arena of bitterness.  After she made the choice of recklessly abandoning herself to Jesus as Lord, she was free to serve Him.  This once brokenhearted single woman has been transformed into a fearless servant of the Lord....

Have you also put your life on hold?  Do you have an excuse for not serving Jesus?

Is your life on hold until you have someone to hold?

While God may very well be keeping me single for a purpose, I am certain that purpose is not to laze around my house. He may never intend for me to be married, if I don't use this time for a higher purpose I am ignoring His will. I may often forget that the world does not revolve around me, falling into a tailspin of self-pity when things don't go my way. The world is so much bigger than just me. I am such an insignificant part, or at least I am when I'm not doing His will.

While I may not always know exactly where God wants me...or why...I do know He doesn't want me neglecting the needs of others. What gifts do you have? Are you using them to honor God? To spread the good news? You're wasting them if you're not. It's so easy to fall off of Gods path. To take the easy way out. To take a day off from doing His will. But how great is the feeling of fulfilling His will? How accomplished do you feel when you help to bring someone to Christ?

Don't sit around waiting for when (if) God brings you a mate. Take this time to grow in Christ, discover your gifts and use them to spread His love. Putting your life on hold won't make you an ideal mate for anyone else.